Sometimes you gotta give

Have you read of couples who divorce or start straying after 20 years of marriage? It's actually quite rampant. Just because you are happy now doesn't mean you will live happily ever after.

Getting attached is the easy part. Maintaining a relationship is definitely harder as we start having higher (and sometimes unrealistic) expectations of each other.

But fret not, marriage is no graveyard. A good marriage can be very rewarding and fulfilling, you just gotta do it right. ^_^

I read the story of this guy who was married for many years. He was also an avid golfer, and spent many hours every week on his golf. His wife however, was not into golf, and will stay at home over the weekends with the kids.

Many years later, the kids grew up and moved away to start their own family. And the wife now had too much time at hand and nothing to do. The guy could have continued his golfing, but he gave it up so that those hours can be channeled into going for walks with his wife. How sweet! ^_^

He loved golf, but he loved his wife more.

Every couple should spend quality time together, while having a little “me” time to find back themselves. But when a partner in a relationship spend too much time pursuing his/her individual hobbies, or spending too much hours working, the couple can start drifting apart. And this could be dangerous, as the married couple start living their own separate lives even when staying together. The spouse should never become a stranger sleeping on the same bed as you.

A buddy of mine was very into dragonboating and phototaking, hobbies which his girlfriend did not engage in. The events took up a huge part of his weekends, and though his girlfriend “didn’t mind”, I thought it was a little self-centered. Good thing they are now married, and planning to move together. Hopefully he will find more time to spend with her. After all, some girls are like plants. They need to be showered with love and be reminded that they are in our priority queue.

The point of this post? Sometimes in life, we got to sacrifice something in order to gain something that matters much more. And years down the road, you will realise that it's all worth it.

Know what or who REALLY matters in your life, and NEVER lose that focus.

Netster's wonderful mum-in-law

Everytime someone comments at my blog, I receive an email in my non-work email address. It is something that keeps me happy in the midst of work. ^_^

Yesterday, I received a comment from Netster, and it surprised me in 3 ways.

(1) He replied to a post which was written more than 4 months ago. Normally the only comments I receive from such outdated posts are spam comments. You know, those "performance" related drugs, MLM selling etc... I'm surprised Netster actually bothered to read such an old post.

(2) He added a super long comment, something which I seldom do, because of the number of blogs I follow. If I didn't read his comment, it would have been wasted effort for him. Luckily, I read each and every comment (even if I don't reply), so don't worry, k?

(3) Lastly, in his long comment, he shared his personal experience with his wonderful mum-in-law, who unfortunately is no longer with us. The story was so heartfelt and sincere, that I was really touched by it. It made me wonder if there were tears in his eyes as he was writing it. And this is one of the rare time I felt so touched by reading a reader's comment, as a doggie ate my conscience when I was young. Wanted to drop Netster an email to acknowledge it but couldn't find his email address anywhere on his blog.

A story of this length is better off being used as a blog entry, rather than leaving it as a comment in an isolated post. Consider sharing us your experience if you want, Netster, you really wrote it well.

By acknowledging you had a wonderful mother-in-law, that makes you a great son-in-law. And she will rest in peace, knowing that her daughter is in great hands.

Early Birds versus Night Owls

As much as possible, I sleep by 12 midnight and wake up before 8am, not just for weekdays but also for weekends.

This isn't exactly early compared to the guys who sleep at 10pm and wake up by 6am, but I thought this is considered "early bird" by Singapore standards.

It's pretty amazing how everyone choose to be a night owl, and sleep in the wee hours (2-3am? it's crazy!) when it's well documented how bad for health it can be. From the traditional chinese medicine perspective, different parts of the organs rest at different time. And the all-important liver (one of the main detoxifying organ other than the kidney) needs to rest at 10-11pm.

Refuse to let your liver rest and see how slack it becomes when he needs to clear the sh*t in your body.

When I was young, I used to clubbed till the wee hours, come home and sleep for 8 hours (or more), and still feel lethargic after I get up, even when I consume minimal alcohol (I'm allergic). As some sleep experts argue, it's not how much you sleep, but rather how early you sleep that affects your quality of sleep.

Maybe I'm getting much older, I'm starting to feel half asleep before midnight. Sniff.

There's a big difference between day and night.

Early day is associated with aunties buying stuffs from the wet market. Or old people doing taiji in the park. Or old people taking their caged birds out for Chinese tea. One word to sum it - Slow.

Late Night on the other hand, is summarised using the word "Happening". The most popular primetime dramas are always slotted at night-time. Movie theatres screen midnight movies, in fact there are no movies in the early morning. There are 2 meals at night, namely dinner and supper, even though we know that SUPPER MAKES YOU FAT.

I say it's about time that night owls clean up their act, and look at the "bright side" of life. To be an early bird, you are less likely to snack at night, and more likely to have a better quality of life. There's way too many things to do at night, but most aren't value-adding to your life. TV, surfing porn Net, MSNing your friends, facebooking etc... You are more likely to be a sleep junkie, one who lost out on sleep because you are addicted to modern technology.

Translate your timetable, move everything forward by 1-2 hours. Sleep a little earlier, so you can wake up earlier, fresher and healthier. Record your TV shows if they are shown too late, you can watch them in the morning. The air in the morning is fresher, and with the lack of happenings to do in the morning, you are more likely to do something that has been neglected in the past - Jogging? Read the papers? Clean up your room? Communicate with your parents?

Some Night owls may argue that they sleep late so that they can do more of their own things before they sleep and begin the dreaded work the next day. I say that's myopic because when you wake up the next day, the FIRST few thing you gonna do is to work. And that sucks.

In contrast, an Early Bird wakes up early and do his own things BEFORE he goes to work. So that's an incentive to wake up early. He's less likely to reach work late, and may even avoid the morning traffic jam.

To each his own, but someday I will lead the Early Birds to kick the Night Owl's a** and take over the world. Muahahaha.

But that will mean me against 90% of the world. =(

About the Author: Shingo T will be hosting the Early Morning Show with Shingo T to combat the ratings for Late Night Show with David Letterman.

4718

I was reading SK's blog, and he shared in a recent post about a recent experience when he bought 4718 as a 4-D lottery, but the winning number that came out was 7841.

I wanted to post a comment, but somehow Blogger kept giving me problems. =(

So SK, this is for you.

"For any 4-digit number with distinct digits, there are 24 permutations to play around the numbers.

7841, 7481, 4718, 4178 etc....

Putting it in another way, you can expect to see about 23 other permutations on average before you actually see your exact number winning!

So close is actually so far. =("

When Life and Death meets

Is there a shortage of hospital beds in Singapore government hospital?

Lisa died of ovarian cancer some months back.

On the last few days before she died, she was placed in a 6-room ward.

With 5 other much younger mothers who had just given birth.

Lisa was unconscious and had an oxygen mask over her face. There were about 20 of us there who were gathering around Lisa, and some cried.

On the other hand, the other 5 patients laid on the bed and kept to themself, some holding their newborn babies, some chatting with their hubbies.

I found it pretty ironic how we all ended up in the same room. A simple reason was that the gynaecology department deals with both life and death -pregnant women and also patients with reproductive system issues such as ovarian cancer.

I felt sorry for the fellow patients. They seem to be containing their joy for the newborn, because it doesn't seem socially appropriate to be celebrating a new family member when you are beside people who are going to lose one.

Many of the ladies pulled the curtains, so that they can have some privacy, and be less mindful of the existence of the dying. We even volunteered to help the patient next to us to pull her curtains, knowing that she may be too weak to do so.

She was grateful and smiled at us with gratitude. And rightfully so.

Life and death was just a curtain away.

Not long after, Lisa was voluntarily upgraded to a 1-room ward by the hospital. A tad too late, but better late than never.

About the Author: Shingo T wonders if the hospitals that Doctor Stiletto Girl works in is this crowded.

Handstand

Have you ever done a handstand? ^_^

I used to do them when I was younger. It was one of those acrobatic things I had tried on my own during my younger days just to shake off that nerdiness image that I always had.

And then something happened. During one of my random practise at the void deck of my flat, I lost balance and hit the concrete floor hard with the head. Not sure if there was a concussion, but I sat there stunned for a long while. A while later, I felt huge sharp pain at my head. I didn't cry, but I did have a little naggy feeling that I hurt my brains somehow.

I stopped doing handstands after the incident. And took up hiphop instead of being a breakdancer. I guess it's safer.

Growing up, I was very bad at remembering stuffs. I wasn't sure if it was due to the handstand accident, but I conveniently attributed that as the reason, an explanation to justify my lack of memory. I never told anyone about it, it's a little secret that my parents do not even know. Can't recall if I told Wifey though.

Having a lousier memory and shorter attention span than my peers, I grew up having to work harder than the rest.

During studying, I couldn't memorise alot of things, so had to put extra attention to understanding them, be it Maths formulas or science theories. This meant that I had to spend more time than the rest, but I was a boring guy, so it didn't matter.

At work, I'm often seen with pen and paper during meetings, because taking down follow ups is a must. It also makes me a bad multi-tasker, I tend to only remember the latest task that I was asked to work on, if I never write them down.

When socialising with friends, or talking with Wifey, I always make it a point to be specially attentive during conversations. It's basic courtesy. But there are many cases when I just forgot what I asked minutes ago, and re-ask the question. Sometimes I think this give others the impression that I didn't listen to their answers. It's really not the case. =(

Sometimes I'm not sure whether it's a bad memory, or I have selective memory. Maybe it's just psychological? I don't know. After all, I remember alot about my childhood and my past. But when it comes to smaller things, I tend to have short-term memory loss.

I consider my memory limitation as a handicap. I have the brains, just with limited ability to remember stuffs. But I am determined to minimise the disruption to my life caused by this inconvenience.

And though I have stopped doing handstands for so many many years, deep down inside, I want to do them again someday.

Just not on a concrete floor.

Where do I stock up on brain juice?

The problem with working as a support role is that everyone becomes my boss. After all, they are the reason why I'm needed. To support them.

Sales and operations are the face to any business. Being a support unit generally means I'm hidden from public view. My role could have been more peace and quiet if I had chose to be passive and do the bare minimum, but it's just not my style.

I make it a point to justify my salary, and my high initiative and enthusiasm brings me alot of popularity among my peers. And that also means that I'm the guy that everyone think of when it comes to getting an extra pair of hands to work on a new invention.

My role is pretty unique because of my unqiue skillset. Because of this, I create a monopoly. On one hand, it means that I'm one of the last people on the company's future retrenchment plans (if any). But it also means if I'm on leave, alot of their requests on their wishlist will be put on hold. After coming back from any vacation, there's always alot of backlog welcoming me back.

And everyone claims that their request is urgent. Well the last time I was "urgent", I just held my own till I had a chance to go pee. =p

Let me clarify that I'm not indispensible, because NO ONE in any organisation is indispensible. But somehow, my easygoing personality attracts people to tap on my brain and time, and there is an over-reliance on my skillset. And that is like feeding them slow poison.

While there is a huge sense of satisfaction when I create something that makes their life easier, I have come to a point when my enthusiasm is waning. And having used up so much brain power at work, I feel like doing brainless stuffs when I get home.

And when my enthusiasm meter runs dangeously low, one of the things normally happens.

(1) Go for a holiday, and hope I get re-energise.
(2) Start life afresh at another company.

I'm not one who just keeps mum and suffer, but it doesn't mean I just whine the whole day about it, because I'm the "2nd kind of person" (I fail, but I change till I succeed).

I'm not a job hopper, having stayed more than 6 years in my first company. But I will do anything it takes to make sure that I do not dread going to work the morning before work.

Because most of us work till we reach the retirement age, you should never lose the enthusiasm about the workplace, because it is where most of us spent most of our lives on.

When I was working at my first company, someone gave me a very good advice.

If work was so easy, then we need you for what?

If the Energizer bunny is arrested, who else can I turn to for help? =p

Want to buy some brain juice, and a hug.

Random Notes 44

(1) This year's Valentine's Day fall on Chinese New Year. And I forgot to buy Wifey a gift. So I gave her a belated present yesterday. Cup Stackers!

And please don't have any ideas that I'm buying her that because I want to play it myself. It's err... so not true. =p

(2) Earth Hour happens this year from 8.30pm to 9.30pm on Saturday, March 27. Which means we are supposed to turn off all the lights and stuffs. During that day, I am supposed to help to do sales in one of the Exhibition Halls. Are we supposed to do this in the dark? Haha.

(3) If you are devoid of electricity for one hour, it means no lights, no TV, no internet, no radio, is there still meaning to life? Yes, we can take the chance to catch up on face-to-face communication!

(4) I always see alot of retirees at the casino. I hope they aren't trying to carve a living. And I wonder if I will end up being one of those old people frequenting the casino to idle time away?

(5) My favourite care bear is the Good Luck Bear. There's something about four leaves clover that captures my attention.


(6) My next planned long-distance trip will be to sin city - Las Vegas. Never been to the United States for purpose outside of work. Friends have been recommending me the place, and it's now one of those places that I want must go before I get kidnapped by aliens.

(7) I wanna go to the korean break-dancing comedy, Breakout!

Have watched it a year ago, and it's a really funny and enjoyable show. But now the cheap tickets are sold out. Sniff.

(8) I miss Toothfy. Hope she comes back to blog soon.

(9) Lady Gaga is my latest music craze. Been playing the same "The Fame" CD at work over and over again at work. Have you guys seen this modified video on Youtube of Lady Gaga's Poker Face song, sung in Mandarin by a Malaysian using auspicious Chinese New Year theme as the lyrics?. It's kind of weird, but I thought it's funny.


(10) Because I'm a change agent, sometimes I wonder if I should enter politics at some point in my life to contribute my 2 cents worth. But then again, why be a politician when I can aim for bigger things, like world domination? Muahahaha.

Complexifying simple stuffs

I always believe The Man Above made everything simple. But humans, being brainy creatures, just had to inject information and emotions to make simple things difficult.

Why have war when you can just have peace?
Why lose your temper when you can settle things amicably?
Why commit suicide when you can live?
Why not just move on to the next available girl if your current one rejects you?
Why smoke when if it gives you more harm than good?
Why pick up a fight if it's going to hurt both of you?
Why do you even provoke people in the first place?

The solution to many questions is sometimes so simple, and right before your eyes. If only we learn to be less emotional, and be more rational.

There's a time to think, but there's also a time to stop thinking too much and just take the most obvious "correct" solution.