Saturday, December 4

Sleepless at 1am

I have 3 admin assistants at work, who I nicknamed as "Left hand", "Right Hand" and "Tail", because they are integral parts of me, helping so much to reduce my workload.

Yesterday night, being Friday night, the 3 of them got me out for an early birthday dinner. Wifey took the chance to go out with her group of colleagues - she doesn't like to eat alone.

After an enjoyable night, I got home close to 10pm, and manage to enjoy some of "me time" surfing the usual forums and watching dance videos on Youtube (Quest Crew rockz!).

At 11pm, I called Wifey to check where she is, and she told me she was going to get a cab back.

By 11.30pm, she was not home, so I thought she had hang around a little longer with her friends.

By 12 midnight, there was no sign of her, and I started calling her, and received an instant "Please leave a message".

At 1am, which is far past my sleeping time at 12 midnight, she has still not returned home. And she has almost never returned home past 1am. I was tired after a long night, but still, I was REALLY worried.

So I walked down the steps of my flat, stopping to hear any suspicious shouts or screams in the silence of the night at every storey. I know I was imagining things, but her being uncontactable was freaking me out.

At the ground floor, I started pacing around at the lift lobby, tired but alert to any movements. Gave a few more calls yo her phone, and received the same "Please leave a message" autoreply, which was getting irritating to my ears. I wanted to call her colleagues, but then I don't have their numbers.

I hope I wasn't mistaken for a pervert or anything loitering at the lift lobby. You know, those predators that dash into the lift when yummy yum yums step into the lift. So when ladies approached the lift, I walked away from the lift, didn't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable.

Coming back to the story, I had pondered about calling her brother and parents, but I didn't, knowing that this will achieve nothing but panic.

For the next 45 minutes, I watched cars and taxis come and go into the carpark, each time with expectation followed by disappointment.

What if something happened to her? Singapore may be low crime, but it isn't no crime. And there are always crazy drunk drivers out there who could .... oh never mind.

My feelings were tinged with both fear and anger. Fear that something bad might happen to her. And anger that I wasn't notified by her regardless of her reason for being this late.

As time went by, I rationalise and bargained, all I want is her to come home safely. If she does comes back safely (please do), I won't raise my voice at her.

And she did, coming out of a taxi closer to 2am. She was surprised to see me, and greeted me with a smile, explaining that she was late because they were too engrossed in their chats, and it's hard to get a cab.

I had to keep my side of the bargain now that she returned safe. But just because I don't scold her doesn't mean I can't tell her how displeased I was.

As a married couple, she is accountable for your own safety to me. This is basic responsibility. I need to be notified should there be any cause for me to worry.

She apologised, saying that she realised much later that her handphone battery went flat, and didn't call me using her friend's handphone because she knows I normally drop dead on the bed at the touch of midnight - the sweet girl doesn't want to wake me up.

Moral of the story - Married lady friends, please know this. If you have to return home late, you HAVE TO inform your significant other, even if that means you have to wake him up from bed. Don't let him worry about you. Thanks!


Anonymous said...

True. It can be worrying...esp if one is expecting a loved one to be coming home around midnight or thereafter.

Bananazą®‡ said...

You 1hr would really be 10 hours. Yup at the least sms just to inform.

foongpc said...

Yes, it's important to let your loved ones know why you are late to keep them from worrying unnecessarily.

de.lizzy.cious said...

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. i'm not married lol. but my mom's like that, calling me every second - despite the fact that i told her i was coming home late to watch movie with friends.

i mean, she wont ask if i'm back in ireland, but the moment i'm back at home, she'd be crazy. understandable considering that malaysia has such a high rate of crime.

Shingo T said...

I hope I don't get to be such a worried parent when my turn comes. =p I wanna be the coolest dad any kid ever has.

wenn said...

true..just call even if it's already late.

[SK] said...

i guess it's not only married ladies.. but everyone should have make a call home to tell their families that they will be returning home late.. :)

Karen said...

I'm glad everything was okay with your wife! It's good that you care about her so deeply.. I agree that people in a relationship should really try to notify each other on their whereabouts, especially when it gets late.

p.s. Regarding your comment,yup people should go naked rather than wear the fur of poor animals!

Jo said...

I understand your fear and anger part. I agree with you that married coupls should make it a point to inform their other half about their whereabouts. It could get really worrying. I always make it a point to do so and on my part, I would rather be woken up by the call or text too to be able to be assured of his safety.

This reminds me of my mum. When I was much younger, she got really mad when I don't inform her when I was going to stay out late. Back then, I didn't want to inform as I did not want her screaming into the phone to "come back home at once" whereas only after I was much older did I realised it was due to her being worried.

Hence, we should always make it a point to inform our family members (or whoever who's waiting worried sick at home) whenever we would be late.

Ai Shiang said...

When you called at 11pm, she didn't mention what time exactly she would be home, did she? Perhaps she could call via public phone if the battery went dead. Since hanging out till so late is a bit worrying.

I used to work overtime and when I was not home one evening at 7pm, my husband got really angry! Funny that he did reach me at my office and pissed about it. Maybe 'cos he was hungry and waiting for dinner. Hahaha!

Netster said...

Seriously, I hate to wait and not being informed. I don't mind people take their time off doing whatever they are doing... but please inform the close one so they can have their piece of mind to do theirs.

good one bro!

spy@fic said...

@shingo - buy wifey an extra phone battery!

Shingo T said...

It seems that I'm kind of of being compared to some of your mums. Gosh! I hope Wifey doesn't find me a pain, haha!

Ai Shiang:
haha, so you are the cook of the house? A hungry man is an angry man. =p

khengsiong said...

Married men should also inform their wife is they are going to be late...

iamthewitch said...

Love this post and your emotions.. especially when you bargained with yourself! I do that sometimes too, when I'm stuck in a situation and debating on how to react... :)

reanaclaire said...

Cant blame you for worrying.. 2am is actually "quite late." :)

HappySurfer said...

Universal issue this one. If only everyone (boy, girl, man, woman, married, unmarried, whatever...) pay a little more attention to this, the world would sleep better, eh?

On the other hand, I know it's not easy, but by not feeling agitated at the person or all worked up in such a situation helps not to send bad vibes to the person. In other words, the worrying, swearing, etc., that is happening somehow converts to negative vibes received by the other person because we tend to think the worst and that converts to bad energy. This may sound weird, funny even, but I believe this is another law of nature. Vibes, good or bad, do get sent otherwise how do we explain the power of prayer? My two cents.

dblchin (double chin) said...

Yes I always take that for granted, I'm gonna make a point to do that when I hang out late! Thanks for sharing ur experience Shingo~

Anonymous said...

maybe you can advise ur wife to sms you instead of calling you. That way she wouldn't wake u up in the dead of the night.

Wenny Yap said...

Awwwwww ... you're such a wonderful hubby. Reminds of mine too ... he'll be lingering at the front door waiting for me whenever I'm on my girls night outs. :)

You know ... I think it's a great way to tear down a hubby's cool macho facade to see how much they really care ... hehehe!

Twilight said...

LOL... funny post but true! I always prefer male colleagues so that I worry less! The ladies at work never worry about the guys!

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