Wednesday, February 25

Winning does not make you a winner

Marshall Goldsmith is a success coach for leaders around the world, and also the author of the book What Got You Here Won't Get You There.

This is a very good book that list the common “mistakes and misconceptions” that people have about managing people (while keeping yourself popular, and the work culture effective).

In one of his tips, he shared his experience about coaching a group of military officers. To make things interesting, he invited the officer’s wives to the talk, for a purpose that you will know later.

So Marshall asked the men this question.

Suppose you and your wife are going out for dinner. You suggested dining at restaurant X, but she counter-suggested restaurant Y, which is somewhere you do not like. So you communicated your reasons to your wife on why you do not like restaurant Y. However you still ended up giving in to your wife’s request, and both of you ended up dining at restaurant Y.

Well, it turns out that you couldn't be any more correct. The folks at restaurant Y forgot about your booking, the food was slow to deliver, and the food does not taste up to par with your standards - exactly what you have mentioned to your wife earlier that day. So you have 2 options.

Option A - Complain to the waiter, and let your wife know that “See, what did I tell you? Things would have been better if we sticked with restaurant X.”
Option B - Shut up and eat your dinner. Blank out these unpleasant experience and focus on talking about other things.

When asked how many officers actually do Option A, 75% of the personnel raised their hands up. Yes, that's what egoistic people do, proving their points that there were right.

The remaining 25% chose Option B. And that's when you hear alot of disagreements from their wives in attendance, who insisted that their hubby were bluffing, their hubbies were in no way that gentlemen enough.

The thing with many successful and high-ranking people is their eagerness to win. They just had to prove they are right when the situation shows likewise.

And some man will even go out to prove his point, to make them look smater/richer/better as compared to others, even if it’s a claim that is not true.
(I have to admit that I fall under this category sometimes)

To you, you have proven the point that you are right after all.
To them, you going all out to prove that you are right just shows how self-centered and uncompromising you are.

You may have win the fight.
But you have lost the war.

Don’t alienate your other halves/friends/subordinates by showing that you know best.

Because by being arrogant on your point, you just end up making them feel insulted.

Don't let high IQ make you a person with low EQ.

About the Author: Shingo T will like to dedicate today’s article to all the people out there having problems with egoistic people.

2 comments:

The Horny Bitch said...

I like the last line, "Don't let high IQ make you a person with low EQ". That is why I want to remain anonymous cos I know I will be arrogant and arrogance is low EQ... lalala!

khengsiong said...

Well said, well said.

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