The "No Exit" Clause

I have been doing alot of networking these days, and hence the lack of activity on the Blogosphere. And I met Mrs Singapore 2011, Vanessa Tan during one of the interactions, and had the honour to listen to her talk about loving our bodies.

And yes, I took the chance to take a photo with this gorgeous lady, which is the start of my new hobby - collecting photos of myself with famous people.

And we are friends on Facebook now, though I know "friends" means little on Facebook these days. She really showed how one can juggle a career and a family so well at the same time - I guess partly because she's an entrepenuer, so she have better flexibility in her timing.

I was reading her Facebook profile minutes ago, and she wrote this interesting insight, which I will conveniently copy and paste.

Vanessa: If you happen to chance upon this and want me to take it out, let me know.

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Blair Singer, the world's most powerful trainer in Sales and Leadership has a "No Exit Clause" with his wife. That clause in their marriage's Code of Honour means that whenever they encounter challenges in their relationship, they lock the door and work things out. There is no "OUT" in their relationship.

To many people, this "No Exit Clause" may seem pretty scary. And to some, pretty scary may be an understatement. It simply means that they sealed all their alternative options, i.e. no break-up, no divorce. And to some, this is really a horror movie.

However, this "No Exit Clause" excites me to the max. To me and the Man of my dreams, this clause means that we have sealed the escape hatch of our Aircraft of Love. To us, it means that we have locked the door behind us and thrown the key away. It also means that WE DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO MAKE US WORK.

You see, I am sick and tired of the fickle-mindedness of the men whom I had dated. And to be honest, it was a great learning experience. Every men I had once dated helps me understand what kind of qualities I want the man of my dreams to have. And one of the biggest requirements I want from my Man is the BIG C - commitment. And I declare it to The Universe.

I manifested and attracted this man into my life. In fact, he had been hanging around me for more than a year before it dawned on me that he is the Man of my dreams. To all those who had read The Secret and understood The Law of Attraction will know what I am saying.

Yes, we have this "No Exit Clause" in our relationship and we are not afraid to share it. This clause, among other rules in our Code of Honour made our relationship healthy, intense, exciting, emotionally-fulfilling, supportive and creates abundant room of growth.

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I always believe that everything in this world, love included, is simple. But being the highly intelligent human beings that we are, we inject too much emotions and complexity to sabotage our own happiness.

In many cases, we are the creator of our own problems.
So let's solve it, and not avoid it.

Have the time of your life, my friends!

Valuing the Customers, Shareholders and Employees

There are 3 main groups of people associated with any business, namely the customers, shareholders and employees.

However, the order of importance in most companies are
Shareholders > Customers > Employees
And rightfully so.

Shareholders are the owners of the business, and why do they start a business? To make INSANE amount of money, of course. So they naturally want (and need) to take their own interest in the first place.

And what better way to make the shareholders happier by being customer oriented? Companies come up with tailored solutions and products for the customers, regardless of how much effort it takes.

And that's where the problem lies. Employees are treated as the bottom of the company hierachy (never mind how much companies keep emphasizing that employees matter). And they are forced in most cases, to do the stuffs to satisfy the customers' needs, even if they don't sound logical.

Flexibility is offered is keep the customers, but often not offered to employees, despite all the work-life balance that the Human Resource Department will preach.

In contrast, Richard Branson (my idol), owner of the Virgin Group reverses the cycle.
Employees > Customers > Shareholders

Employees's needs are addressed first. After all, these are the guys who are giving up a huge portion of their lives (no doubt in exchange for the company's salary) to help the company grow. Happier employees are more likely to be better workers, stay around longer, and be able to treat the organisation like a family, than just purely a workplace.

As employees are empowered to make decisions, they become smarter and more adaptable with addressing the customer's needs. They don't have to consult their superior for every single thing - they may make mistakes, but they become better with each mistake made.

With happy, empowered and smart employees, the customers are better served. Satisfied customers lead to better sales and thus reaping more value to the company, and thus shareholders, the "least important" people in the company, are laughing all the way to the bank!

About the Author: Shingo T never fails to get amazed at how the Virgin Group pays lesser salary than its competitors, and yet so many people want to work for it.

Bickering is good

My cleaners are a couple in their 50s.
They are very diligent, and spread their roles well. The lady does all the "lighter" jobs (ironing and wiping), while the man does the "heavier" jobs (wash toilets, vacuuming, dissecting and cleaning aircon).

They may not talk much, but I could feel the bond between the two of them. The guy also rides his wife on a bicycle to my home. Damn sweet, right? I will love to ride Wifey around in a bicycle around the neighbourhood when we hit our 50s too.

I engage the 2 of them in small chit chats now and then. I was telling them minutes ago how much I envy them, to be able to work together daily as a team (and with no conflict of interest that might invite gossips), and spend time together.

Well, she replied me in jest "Where got good? We always end up bickering." And she laughed. I laughed too.

I wanted to say "Wait till he's gone. Then you will miss the bickering", but that doesn't sound appropriate, but you guys get what I mean, right?

Reflecting back, I spend so much less time with Wifey because of my new commitment. Maybe someday, I should just open a sugar cane drink shop, so that I get to be the boss (ok, its actually just self-employed), and Wifey can be the cashier.

We won't earn much, but we definitely have much more time together... and bicker about the small things in life while we still can.

The problem of being indispensible

One of the enlightenment I got from "The 4 Hours Work-Week" is that it's bad news to be indispensible within a company.

Ok, maybe no one is indispensible, especially when the downturn comes. What I mean is that if you monopolise a particular field within the company, you are considered a "much needed" person and you become the first name that comes to people's mind when they encounter problems in that field.

I must qualify that I do enjoy being the go-to guy in my department, but it is a double edge sword.

Pros:
(1) Job Security.
(2) More visibility and thus better chance for promotion.
(3) More likely to get a better pay increment compared to the average peers.

Cons:
(1) Over-reliance on you, and thus it starts to suck up my time, thus reducing productivity.
(2) Hard to go for long holidays, or even have to OT at home when on medical leave.

My boss once said that managers should train their subordinates to be almost as good as them, to the point that they can do the manager's things.
- When subordinates perform, it reflects nicely on the boss' management skills.
- When suboordinates perform to your level, you have the option of moving up to another level, since you now have a capable replacement.

A few months back, I have gotten a nice capable colleague, whom I have transferred my knowledge to. Now I can look forward to be absent without anything holding me back.

And it feels really good. ^_^

Making life easier

I blame myself for everything, so that I can have ownership of the problem.
And with ownership, I empower myself to solve it.

Often, I have hear of people saying that they have no time.
They blame it on the work hours, the travel time, the kids, the gf/wife etc... anyone but themselves.

Pushing the blame on others doesn't win you any synpathy points. But by accomplishing more stuffs with less time, you get people's respect.

Let me share a few pointers here. I give credits to The 4-hour Work-week for the concept, but I adjusted it to suit myself.

DEAL - Define, Eliminate, Automate, Liberate

(1) DEFINE - Know what the REAL problem is.
Don't give the right solutions to the wrong problems.

(2) ELIMINATE (aka Simplify) - Kill it before it kills you.
Know what the time-consuming tasks are. Are they REALLY that important? Find ways to eliminate them, or improve the process so that it doesn't take as long.
Don't be shy to say "NO" or ask "WHY THE POOK DO YOU NEED THIS?".
When you ask more, you work less.
Buy 1 to 2-weeks worth grocery at a go, instead.
Do you REALLY need to spend an hour each day reading newspapers, Facebook, watching serial drama etc....?
I used to spend an hour reading newspapers, thinking that "I don't want to be a frog in the well". But the truth is I can't change the world, and actually I read because of my ego to be "smart", and that doesn't make me more money. Now I just read the headlines, except for news that concern me directly. - save 45 minutes a day.

(3) AUTOMATE - Offload your tasks.
I got a iRobot, now I never ever have to sweep my floors again - Save 30 mins a week.
I got a weekly part-time cleaner so that I can save 4 hours a week.
Auto-link most of your payments to Giro (or whatever they call it in your country), so you won't have to waste time compiling your bills.
And if you are a businessman, DON'T do everything yourself. Don't be a salesman + accountant + operations manager + office cleaner. Learn to delegate so you can have time to THINK strategically and get more cash for the company.
And do consider a Virtual Assistant - they can do ANYTHING for you that doesn't require their physical presence. Help you write articles, help you plan for holidays or find a rental flat etc... And they are surprisingly cheap - 3 cheers for India, the Service Centre of the World.

(4) LIBERATE - Get yourself out from the 9-5.
With extra time at hand, you can spend more quality time with your family, or embark on a journey to get new sources of part-time income.

Simple case study.
(1) PROBLEM: The bus always comes late.
Sorry, actually the REAL problem is you wake up late - own up to YOUR own problem.

(2) ELIMINATE: What can you do to wake up earlier, or skip the bus?
Any ways to sleep earlier the day before, like checking Facebook/Youtube/Emails twice a week instead of daily? Can you join a carpool? Or get your boss to let you work at home some of the times? Negotiate for a 7.30am-4.30pm workhour instead of 9am-6pm just so you can avoid the peak hours.

(3) AUTOMATE: Get a BLOODY LOUD alarm clock and place it in the living room. You will be too embarrassed if you don't get off the bed and turn it off, lest the neighbours complain to the local police.

(4) LIBERATE: Once you start killing this problem, get yourself a pat on the back. Now you are one step closer to a better life!

Have a great weekends ahead, my friends! ^_^
Stop being a slave to yourself.
Live life, love life!

About the Author: Shingo T dedicates this post to his 2 weekly cleaners, because they are cleaning away so that he can blog this now.

My passion

One of my friends just asked me an interesting question.

"Am I right to say that your passion is to earn more money?"

I guess I must have spoke about "money" too many times, and give others the impression that I'm money-minded. =p

So here are my views.

(1) Money is a tool.
It is not a must to have it, but having it makes your life easier. If you don't agree, try begging for food instead of earning for it.

(2) Money and you, who's the master?
If you are not in control of your money, that means your money is controlling you. Don't be a slave to money and work blindly chasing it, instead think of how to abuse your money to make more of it.

(3) No money is no big deal.
Never lose sleep over money issues. Learn to bounce back from financial defeats. Been there, done that, and I'm still an undefeatable cockroach.

(4) Money amplifies your values, and not change them.
If you are a stingy guy, having more money will only make you a scrooge. It won't make you an instant pilantrophist.

(5) Money doesn't make you invincible.
But it pretty much gives you tons of options in life. Sack the boss? Donate as much money as you like? Travel the world?

(6) God is fair? Nah.
Rich people have problems.
Poor people have a different set of problems.
So I rather be rich and problematic, then poor and problematic.
It's the "consolation prize" mentality. If all else fails, at least I'm rich. =(

(7) Entrepenuers, the missing link to make the world better.
Good governments can finance the people, but they are bounded by rules and politics.
Good schools can educate the nation, but they are bounded by their finances.
That's where good social entrepenuers come in. With the money they earn and the lack of politics, entrepenuers can help mould the nation easier.

Start charity foundations like Bill Gates?
Adopt kids and build schools like Madonna?
Why not?

You can have tons of volunteers to build a school in Vietnam, but eventually someone has to give the money to buy the bricks, pay for transportation and stuffs.

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So to answer the question. How can earning money be a passion?
Money is useless if you don't have a CLEAR purpose for it.
(And having as much money in the bank is not a "purpose")

My passion is to help people go back from work earlier, so that they can spend more time with their family.

And if I earn a hell lot of money someday while following my passion, wouldn't this be a dream "job"?

Hope that clarifies.
Have a great day ahead, my friends! ^_^

The irony of the modern man

My mum is not a fan of the Dalai Lama, because she's pro-China (she's a Malaysian Chinese). Personally, I don't give a POOK about politics, but I came across this quote from the Dalai Lama, which I find very enlightening.

Will post it below to share with you guys/gals.

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The Dalai Lama, when asked what surprised him most about humanity, answered:

"Man.. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money.
Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health.
And then, he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived."

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My good friend Nino comes to my mind when I read this. While most people that i know (myself included) goes in the endless pursuit of more cash, the Nino that I know travel the world, lives his dream, and flies one half of the world to be with his true love. I envy ya, bro!

How to be a Kickboxing champ!

I have finished my Secrets of the Millionaire Mind and is moving on to the next book - The 4-hour Work Week by Timothy Ferris. This book is about someone who simplifies his work and life process, and thus have plenty of time at hand to pursue his activities.

As I read the book, I will come across many tips which I will share some with you here in future blog posts. Particularly very interesting is the story of how most of his cold calls never get to the intended person because of gatekeepers (ie. the clerks and secretaries). So he chose to make his calls at 8-8.30am and 6-6.30pm instead of 9am-5pm (when the secretaries were not in office), and ended up getting twice the results for 1/8 of the time.

Anyway, I will leave you with an extract of his book, on how he became a kickboxing champion by playing smart, and staying within the rules. Whether you like his way or not, I must give him some credits for playing "smart".

Cheers, everyone!

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In 1999, sometime after quitting my second unfulfilling job and eating peanut-butter sandwiches for comfort, I won the gold medal at the Chinese Kickboxing National Championships.

It wasn’t because I was good at punching and kicking. God forbid. That seemed a bit dangerous, considering I did it on a dare and had four weeks of preparation. Besides, I have a watermelon head–it’s a big target.

I won by reading the rules and looking for loopholes, of which there were two:

1. Weigh-ins were the day prior to competition: Using dehydration techniques I now teach to elite powerlifters, I lost 28 pounds in 18 hours, weighed in at 165 pounds, and then hyperhydrated back to 193 pounds*. It’s hard to fight someone from three weight classes above you. Poor little guys.

2. There was a technicality in the fine print: If one combatant fell off the elevated platform three times in a single round, his opponent won by default. I decided to use this technicality as my single technique and just push people off. As you might imagine, this did not make the judges the happiest Chinese I’ve ever seen.

The result? I won all my matches by technical knock-out (TKO) and went home national champion, something 99% of those with 5-10 years of experience had been unable to do.

* Most people assume this type of weight manipulation is impossible, so I’ve provided sample photographs at www.fourhourworkweek.com. Do not try this at home. I did it all under medical supervision.

Random Notes 48

Otaru Canal in Hokkaido: Pic stolen from Ikchin.com

(1) Wifey has been doing tons of research on what to wear for our Hokkaido trip in 2 weeks time. Heard the weather there is freezing cold at this time of the year. Will take lots of pics and share with you guys. ^_^

(2) I have completed the first of my four year 2011 resolutions last Friday. It's something that is way overdue, but then again being late is better than never. And I have went to buy 4D with the numbers "3027" to commemorate the event.

(3) Read somewhere that in the freezing cold, if 2 people kiss mouth lip to lip, their lips will get stuck. Time to debunk the myth.

(4) One of my friends was sharing with me about his life working 3 days a week. It really reminds me of this saying "If you are that damn good at doing something, you should be getting paid for it", as opposed to just getting a fixed meagre salary.

(5) What do you do when you spot a hawker selling great food at low prices? How about helping him become a business owner (instead of being a self-employed), and making yourself his business partner?

(6) Salt water as a natural, cheap and effective cure for people with skin diseases. That's what someone on my regular forum says. He claims it worked for his dad and his dog. All hail Mother Nature!

(7) I have a friend who likes to go Facebook and see how her ex-boyfriend is doing. And each time she does that, she becomes demoralised when she starts envying how well he is doing. And thus I call her the moth, she has to stop flying towards the light.

(8) With the Singapore government's recent tightening to combat increasing property prices, it becomes harder for people to get a piece of the "buy and rent/sell" pie. Time to keep the eyes open for other opportunities out there.

(9) I realised that Wifey enjoys helping me pluck out my white hair. She recently plucked about 30 from my head. White hair is fine, it's at least better than a patch with no hair. *blush*

(10) I'm still on track with regular morning jogs. Gonna keep to my side of the bargain to run 21km at the end of the year, now that I have told all of you about it. =p

The past or the future.

My colleagues and I went for a one-day Johor Bahru trip close to the end of last year. We were supposed to meet at the Singapore side of the Customs, but two of my friends came one hour early, so we agreed to meet at City Square, the shopping centre right after the Malaysia customs.

However, I was an hour late when I reached City Square. I'm normally quite a punctual guy (when I'm not going wedding dinners), and I take pride in my discipline. But that day I had misjudged the time required.

Naturally my travelling companions asked why I was that late, but I didn't felt like explaining. When you try to justify your actions, like the bus was late, the queue were longer than usual etc.... it normally creates negative energy to yourself and no one loves a whiner.

Moreover, I only have myself to blame for not choosing to come out an hour earlier to cater for such possible situations.

So I told them “I give you 2 choices. Either you hear my lame excuses, or I treat you free drinks to make up for it.” And my companions enthusiastically chose the latter. ^_^

I ended up spending more to treat them bak kuh teh (pork rib soup) to atone for my lateness. I say it's money well spent!

And the rest of the day went on really well, eating + shopping + massaging at cheaper prices than Singapore, what’s there not to love?

2011 will be my year.
Don't lay blame, and don't waste time justifying.

Gotta take responsibility, look forward, and never look back (except for those nostalgic happy memories).

Let year 2011 be your year too, my friends!

Retirement plans

Despite quitting active gaming for almost a year (which was also the best decision I ever made), I must admit every now and then, I do miss it, and still have the urge to reinstall World of Warcraft and start gaming again.

But I keep rationalising and reminding myself of all the harm I have done to myself because of gaming - I don't want to waste another 20 years trying to quit this addiction.

So I have decided. I should wait till I get old and my senses start to fail me, then maybe, just maybe, I might reconsider picking up gaming again. I will be the cool grand-dad who thrashes his young opponents on the gaming world. =p

For now, I should see what the world has to offer, dance and travel while my legs are willing, kiss and hug while my Wifey is still with me, mingle while I am still not grumpy and obnoxious, ogle at sweet young things, write and learn while I am still senile, and so on....

So what are your retirement plans, my dear friends?

Law of Precession

Like my good blogging friend Wenny, I apply alot of the Law of Attraction in my life. Recently, I got to know about the Law of Precession, and realised that it is also something that I apply unknowingly, as it is aligned with my values, though I somehow feel these 2 laws can kind of contradict each other.

Anyway, the Law of Precession was first stated by Buckminster Fuller, and it goes like this.

For every action we take there will be a side effect arising at 90 degree to the line of the our action. And this effect will be equal to or greater than the original attraction.

Wow, sounds a little abstract, isn't it?

There are 2 classic examples used to illustrate this law when you surf the Net about this subject.
(1) When you drop stones in a water, ripples are produced.
(2) When bees collect pollens from flowers, they unknowingly help cross-fertilise flowers.

So how is this law applicable in our lives?

The harder you try something, the harder it is to achieve. When you pursue money, the side effect produced is greed. And you might just end up losing more than you gain.

Instead, try adding value to those people around you. The side effect in this case is that you will gain more, either monetary or in other ways. The more selfless you are in helping others, the more you will gain.

Some of you may find this weird, isn't it? But I know of a few entrepenuers who swear by this law as the secret of their success.

Help others and you end up helping yourself in return.
Sounds good, isn't it?

The loser lose it.

Hi Friends, let’s play a little game.
I will challenge you to a game that I call
The loser lose it.

The rules are simple.

You lose if
(1) you lose your temper before I do OR
(2) you complain about anything before I do.

I lose if
(1) I lose my temper before you do OR
(2) I complain about anything before you do.

And we both win if
(1) you and I do not lose within the next 48 hours.

The time now on my watch is 11am Thursday Singapore time (GMT +8 hours).

No cheating please – drop a comment here if any of you (or myself included) have lost your temper or complained about ANYTHING these 48 hours.

I dare you to stay cool! =p

About the Author: Shingo T thinks every company and every couple should play this game. If the boss loses, he will be financially penalised. If the wife/hubby loses, he/she will have to do housework or something.

It doesn't matter!

I always thought teaching was my destiny. It still is, just not at a school. I am constantly amazed at how the Ministry of Education try to brand teaching as a very noble job. Don't get me wrong, moulding the nation is an important role, just that there are too much politicking and admin work among the Singapore school teachers these days, and many are packed to the point that they lose the kind of work-life balance.

There was a teacher in Singapore who devoted 20 years of her life in school trying to mould the nation. Then she discovered she had cancer, but still continued going to go back to school to nurture the next generation. When she died, the school didn't bother to even pay for an orbituary for her. It's not that the school was too poor to do so, they probably see no need to. Money was better spent to paint the walls to maintain the image of the school. So the school staff had to rally and pressure the principal to spare some money for something to remember the teacher's contribution - the school gave in and paid for a small orbituray on the papers.

Anyway, this post isn't about teaching. Rather, it's about the many things in life that doesn't matter.

How often have you wanted to do something, but end up not doing it just so as to please your friends and family? And that lead to some kind of regret in some point your life.

The next video is a hip number called It doesn't matter, and carries a nice message. =p



So you spend 20 years working your a** off for your company?
It doesn't matter! What's your name again? And I don't POOKing care about the contributions you made.

So you are richer than everyone else and just want to flaunt off?
It doesn't matter! It doesn't make us envious, it only make us realise the kind of a** that you are. =p

So you won the beauty pageant 20 years ago?
It doesn't matter! You look nowhere near that now.

So your friends are gossiping behind your back for breaking off with the boyfriend?
It doesn't matter! Their turn will come soon.

So you have has a first class honours/MBA/PhD?
It doesn't matter! You are working for people with half your qualifications but earning a few times your salary.

So you have.....
*puts a hand to your face*
It doesn't matter! Nobody cares! =p

Don't be over-concerned about what people think about you, and end up making decisions just to please them, and screw your own life in the process.

Now repeat this pledge after me, my friends. ^_^

I am a human being, not a donkey.
If you don't respect my values, don't expect me to respect yours.
I am not here to please you, I'm here to RULE.
You can try to piss me, but I ain't give you the sh*t you deserve.
I am SOLELY responsible for leading my own life.

About the Author: Shingo T will like to dedicate this post to people who are too conscious about how they appear in front of others. Seriously, no one cares.

Who says Wifey isn't thrifty?

Wifey and I are a couple who believes alot in utilising one's strength to cover the other person's weakness.

That's married life, my friends. Each of us has a part to play!

While I worry about bringing in the moolah ($), she worries about us having excesses. While I'm surfing investment forums, she's surfing the shopping forums. And when I'm out there networking with my newfound friends, you can bet the kind-hearted girl is out there doing charity at retail outlets.

Yes, Singapore has the fastest growth rate in the world for the year 2010. And it's solely thanks to Wifey! She has the potential to single-handedly turn around the US economy and help the Democrats win back some lost seats (email me, Mr Obama!!!).

Anyway, I do a monthly stocktaking of our overall financial health, to ensure we are on target for a decent retirement. And I make it a point to keep my Wifey aware of our financial situation - just to let her know that while we don't have more money than than Mr Lee Kuan Yew (he's 87 and still working), but we can retire earlier than him.

But Wifey's ain't interested in how much we have, she's meant for bigger things in life. Quoting my ever-intelligent Wifey...
"I don't care how much we have so long as I have enough to spend."

My jaws drop. But nonetheless this award-winning quote will come in handy when I tell stories to my future descendents in my open lodging under the bridge. -_-''

And before you think I'm trying to say Wifey's a spendthrift, that is a myth - she is a very thrifty person.

And how do I know that?

Because she saves her money by making purchases with the supplementary credit card I gave her. 0.o

And at the end of every month, after I have finish paying all my credit card bills, she looks at me with that puppy look (again), and just couldn't figure out why I can't save up as much as she could.

-_-''

Sometimes I also wonder where all my money went.
Someone enlighten me?

About the Author: Shingo T will like to clarify that this post is not meant to be sarcastic. ^_^ In reality, though Wifey likes to spend, she does her research beforehand to ensure we get the best bargain for each and every of the many countless, endless, infinite things that she buy (including those bought when my back is turned). Hugs and kisses, Wifey!

The Voice from Above.

I am a Buddhist by birth (because my parents are), but I always consider myself a free-thinker.

OK, maybe the person I worship is the guy on the dollar note.


Anyway, I was on a networking session recently and there was a talk by Patrick Liew, who is the director of home-grown real estate company called HSR. Patrick is also a philantrophist and does numerous wide-scale charity projects.



Well, Patrick shared his rag to riches story. Won't write much about this, but he has this interesting personal philosophy about about listening to The Man Above.

Knowing that religion is a touchy subject here in Singapore, he first gave a disclaimer that any religions that condemn other religions can't be any way good. He said that regardless of the name that we call our God, he strongly believes that there is an upper authority up there who speaks to us, IF ONLY we allow ourself to hear him speak.

He told us how this voice guided him to be the person that he is now, and how we can get in touch with The Man Above. And we don't neccessary have to get in touch by going to church or temples, but rather, we just have to get ourself away from interruptions. He does so simply by going for a jog with his dog.

I actually have similar rituals too, when I am out cycling in the morning. That is the best time to get away from everything and do a little self-indulgence of being free. I'm not exactly sure if it's the voices from Above, but I hear voices in my heart. It gets me to reflect on what I have been doing, and gain clarity on what I want in life. I take stock of what I have done, and constantly re-align my directions with my goals.

Thus I always feel good after an hour of cycling.

And that is why I don't over-pack my schedule with too much events, I need spare time to reconnect with my inner self.

In this Rat's Race, it's easy to run around the corporate circuit like a headless chicken. So do you set aside a little time to listen to The Man Above, or at least your inner self?

Hide N Seek

My Wifey has a dual personality. At work, she's a no nonsense person. She is a perfectionalist who delivers only quality work and is respected by her peers for her professionalism. Interns and newbies who work with her tend to be a little afraid of her, as she does not see the need to give face to people who are not performing.

We often have discussion about our way of managing people at work - I go for people with the right attitude, while she goes for people who can deliver.

On weekends, back at home, this corporate perfectionalist turns into this devilish naughty girl. Just earlier this morning, I came home after my breakfast at a neighbourhood kopitiam, unable to find her on the bed (she sleeps late on weekends). And she wasn't in the toilet, so I knew she was playing hide and seek with me. -_-''

It's a good thing my flat is small. There are only a few places she can hide, so normally it won't take long for me to find her. But somehow she always hide in the place that I least expected (she knows me so well), so after I found her, she will laugh at how long I took to find her.

And she will often ask if I worry about her "disappearance". Being the egoistic and macho man that I am, err... my answer is no?

Besides playing hide and seek, she sometimes tries to give her hubby a scare by jumping out from dark corners or blind spots in the house. Haha, she just get a kick seeing me get startled. And I will always tell her that she should try harder if she's out to get my insurance money, I don't get heart attack that easily.

And that's why knowing I have a little phobia for roller coaster rides, she brings me to amusement parks, and "forces" me to take those killer rides, using her "If you don't go up, I also don't", and show me that disappointed face of hers.

I am a sucker to my Wifey's puppy looks. I know.

But frankly, she's also a little scary cat when it comes to such rides, she just wants to have my hand to hold, and have a companion who is equally scared sh*tless after the ride.

Seeing her fun side sometimes makes me feel less conscious of how uncle I actually am. Youth is contagious, and I feel younger when I'm with her.

I love you, Sweetie!

I told you so

I have always been proud to be a forward-looking guy. Close colleagues and friends know me as someone who only cares about the future and not the past.

I can't change the past, but I can mould my future.

I make plenty of mistakes in my life, but I don't sulk or get depressed over them. I live with it, and use it as a guiding principle not to repeat the same mistake ever again.

You won't appreciate what is right until you got it wrong.

And in line with this value, there are some words/phrases that I refrain from using (unless I am joking). And one of such phrases is "I told you so", or any variants of this phrase.

In fact if you use this phrase on me, I might just slap you silly (doesn't apply for Wifey though). =p

You see, I find this phrase very finger pointing. It assigns a blame on the recipient for not listening to his advice. You only make him more miserable than he already is for not listening to you.

Remember, everytime you are tempted to say "I told you so", remember there are also cases of "luckily he never follow what I say" in life.

But I have to admit there are times when I am instinctively tempted to say "I told you so", but somehow the words just don't come out from my mouth. I know it won't make the recipient feel any better, and worse case, it might even ignite a quarrel.

If he remembered that I told him before, then so be it. I do not have to remind him.
If he doesn't, then why bring that up?

So I will instead try to create value, like giving him my opinions on how I think he can go about getting out of the sh*t he is in.

And chances are that after the conversation, he will feel better about himself.

And that makes me feel good.

The Fun Theory

Anyone read the book called Fish! ?



This fishy book talk about the real-life Pike Place Fish Market in Seattle, made famous for having FUN workers who throw fish around (and even invite the customers into the fun). Because the staff give so much attention to the customers, it was big business for the market and fun for everyone. And also a fictional story about how the Fish! philosophy was applied to a manager's company to improve both productivity and morale.

It is interesting to note that the people working at the Pike Place fish market actually felt disgusted with the book, but hey, it is nonetheless an interesting book.

If only all our companies can be just as fun, we can achieve great results.

To prove my point, take the look at the social experiment below, on how fun can actually make people take the stairs instead of the escalator.

(Please turn on the volume)



Now, how do you convince your boss that having fun is good for the company?

Drinking problem

Got this from a friend.
(Left click on picture to magnify it)



The Man Above gave us two ears and one mouth for one simple reason - so that we can listen twice as much compared to what we talk.