Which gives me random thoughts of how am I going to face death of a closed family member or friend in the later parts of my life?
Obviously, I'm not cursing for something like this to happen soon. Touch wood! But it is still something that I should at least prepare myself for, lest I be left completely confused and devastated into the point of depression should something like this happen.
My Granny is the closest person, other than my Wifey and my mum, that have a strong family connection to me. She is about 90 years old this year, comparitively senile and healthy compared to her equally aged peers. She used to take care of me when I'm young (and tolerating my childishness and tantrums), and we were very very close.
With my parents working hard to ensure we get a proper education, my Grandma was left with the sacred task of looking after 2 brats. While illiterate, she taught me the importance of taking care of myself.
Now she lives with one of my uncles in Malaysia, and I seldom had the chance to go back to see her. I would be lying to say I am that busy. Pure laziness, there's no excuses about it.
We definitely visit her on 2 occassions every year, her birthday and Chinese New Year. And each time I see her, my joy will normally be tinged with sadness. How many more years do I get to talk to her, and make her laugh?
The thought of death makes me scared sometimes.
It is sometimes good to be conscious of the Reaper. As they always say, cherish the present because you won't know what will happen tomorrow. Don't make your beloved unhappy today, because you may never get the chance to say sorry tomorrow.
With Wifey, I have seen our relationship prosper from the stage of selfish fighting for our own beliefs, to the point of mutual consensus. And now I am so glad I make her my wife. I love her, and I want us to have no regrets when either of us depart first.
If I have to go first, I want my Wifey to remember that there was once a man who loves her so much. And I want her to move on with life bravely, knowing that I will be up there above taking care of her spiritually, and that she have my blessings to get a new man who can make her life happy and meaningful.
While being very conscious of death, it is very important to take a preventive action to delay the inevitable.
No one can cheat the Reaper, and there are 2 ways to die.
(1) Quick and relatively painless
(2) Slow and painful
The former occurs normally with unexpected death. Like dying in the sleep, or even unnatural deaths like plane crashes and murders.
The latter normally occurs with people with degenerative diseases. The lethal poison that slowly drains the burning soul out of your existence. Heart problems, cancers, stroke etc... are all "controllable" diseases that belong to this category, for those who are consciously in control of their diet.
When you get ill someday and have to hinder those that are dear to you, you unleash intangible misery to their daily lives. You create havoc!
So please take good care of your partner as well, because if their health deteriorate miserably because you keep buying their favourite Char Kway Teow (Unhealthy, oily, yet yummy fried noodles) and french fries, the 2 of you will pay for it "dearly" (pun intended).
And never forget that death lurks just around the corner.