Wednesday, August 5

Preserving a Man's ego

A few years back, Wifey and I were travelling with a group of friends. One of our male friends brought along his girlfriend. Well, this couple apparently had a dispute during one of the breakfast. To confirm our suspicion, the girl sat at a different table from her boyfriend even though there are available seats at his table. The guy went over the other table, tried to pacify his gf, but was totally ignored by her. We could see that our male friend was very embarrassed, knowing that we sense it. And we didn’t feel right about stepping in to diffuse the bomb because we didn’t know what happened, plus I don’t wanna get scolded by the angry girl. Luckily for them, they patch up much later in the trip and the trip went on as per normal. ^_^

I am generally a mild tempered guy, but it doesn't mean I have no temper. After so many years together, and plenty of communication, my lovely Wifey knows exactly where my hot buttons are. And she knows that showing me colour (ie. getting angry) in front of my friends is akin to pressing the button to detonate the nuclear bomb.

Most man are born egoistic. Yes, we can pamper our other half, and can do embarrassing stuffs to make them happy. A man carrying flowers for the first time can find it a little uncomfortable (with all the attention he’s getting from onlookers), but he does it anyway because he knows the girl will be in for a pleasant surprise. And I piggyback my Wifey sometimes in public (but in places when there’s not too many people). And that’s fine.

But there’s a fine line between embarrassment and humiliation.
The former will give you chuckles, the latter will make us pissed.

There’s a degree of male chauvinists in many of us, and men feed on success.
Even if we do not succeed, we don’t need anyone (especially our soulmates) to categorise our DELAYED SUCCESS as a failure.

Its like a man going to war with a rifle in his hand, doing his best to protect his country. He hides behind the sandbags and fires his rifle gun non-stop.
But suddenly he is shot… not by the enemy in front of him, but from his own teammate behind him. Ouch!

When a woman say that the man does not understand her, the feeling is actually mutual.
Because if the woman were to REALLY understand the man, then she would not even be making this statement.
After all, disputes are normally a combination of miscommunication, assumption and expectations. Humans, both males and females, have this problem of seeing things only from their own perception.

This is not to say that the lady should hide her unhappiness. There’s a time and place for everything. Bring your dirty laundry home to wash, don't wash it in public!
And don’t make us guys hang our heads low in front of our fellow brothers. We do not want to be perceived as henpecked (even if it’s true!).

Man is MACHO MAN. Man NO DROP TREARS. Even deep deep inside, Man HEART FEEL PAIN PAIN. But Man must restraint. Man beat woman is beast. But woman beat man is ok. Man feel no logic. Man no understand why woman like that. But Man no do anything. Woman nag nag. Man no understand wife more naggy than mama. Woman say Man no listen. But Man has ears. Man has eyes. Man also have brain. Man have FEELING. Man only feel beri sad sad. But woman say they more sad than us. Man no like woman no believe us. =(

So ladies, be a little understanding.
Give your Man some dignity, and he will reciprocate with more love.

A little kindness goes a long way. ^_^


Roxy. said...

oh oh. i am guilty of it once.

numbernine said...

That breakfast story sounds vaguely familiar.

jezalmy said...

I only will show my face to my hubby inside the room or in the car if he accidently step on my tale..haha

Anonymous said...

It works both ways too :)

spy@fic said...

i wonder what prompted this post? =)

when i was 15, this much older bro of mine told me. "when u date, always protect your man's pride". i held it dearly as my dating mantra.

But honestly, MEN- don't take it for granted. silence for many never means consent/agreement.

MKL said...

I'm with Mei Teng here... these days it depends more on the character and less on the gender. At least here in the West.

Shingo T said...

We all have our fair share of mistakes in relationship, I'm no exception. Live and learn.

Oh really? =p

I hope you don't have a long tail. ^_^

Mei Teng & MKL:
Agreed that its true also to ladies to an extent.

Haha, this post was inspired by some random thoughts. Didn't know you have a brother too. Man are much more straightforward to interprete than gals.

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