One of the writers, a psychologist by training, related his experience with a waitress, who seeked his advice on handling a quarrel with her 15-year old daughter.
The little girl wanted to have her legs shaved, but the waitress mum was against it. As a result, they frequently quarreled over this.
The psychologist gave the waitress mum a simple solution "Buy her a shaver". His rationale was simple - there are too bigger things in life that we should be concerned about.
How true. In all aspects of life, we can't always expect to take complete control of everything. By letting the daughter have some "wins", parents earn some goodwill. I call them brownie points, and they serve as a bargaining chip to facilitate them to influence a bigger decision of their child's future.
Do you want to influence small things like your daughter shaving the legs, or bigger things like ensuring she does not stay overnight at the place of her new boyfriend?
Same goes for work. A boss who wants to have the final say and micromanages everything will only get resentment for his workers. Maybe he should get feedback from the men and let them have it their way sometimes (even if deep down inside, the boss may not agree with the suggestions).
And if you know of someone who look for you time and time again only when they need your help, how will you react when they need your help once again, and this time to borrow a few thousand dollars? Well, I will say "No" without hesitation, I have already helped you way too much.
Start accumulating some brownie points with your loved ones, your friends and your colleagues.
You will never know when they will come in handy.
16 comments:
It is true... brownie points is good... you will know when tey might come in handy.
how many brownie points should i earn to get brownies?? :D
(ok, that's just me talking postcall!)
I agree with that premise. Good post. I would certainly like to hear more on this matter, it helped me with my school assignment :P
Nah, jokes aside. I totally sign your idea :)
gee... it kinda happen to me at work today.... sometimes letting them win doesnt mean you lose the battle, it just mean you have highest chance winning the war...ehheheh....
Sometimes in the supermart, I hear it aired. And I think,' hey, a little parenting tip as you shop!' I've also learned to figure out which battle I want to win with my kids:).
I got mixed feelings about "Focus on the Family". On one hand, they write good and sensible articles about getting along with the family, and our friend the former and future professor also turns to them for advice for his wayward son. (ie our friend thinks his son is wayward. I'm not sure.)
On the other hand they are from an evangelistic church in the US, and have very unenlightened attitudes towards gay people. I'm not gay but I can't stomach all that sometimes.
That's true. We really need it sometimes. Need to accumulate it from as early as possible.
Totally agree with the concept of brownie points.. one can never exercise too much power and control over someone else... "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you"
Very true. Good advice here from focus on the family. I always hear them on air at our local supermarkets.
There is a word called empowerment. Bosses should learn to empower their staff to do their best at whatever they're supposed to be doing versus trying to "be in control of everything". If not, why bother to hire staff. Might as well hire robots instead.
Time to start "baking" !
I didn't know that it is also aired at Malaysia supermarkets. Will keep a ear out for it the next time I go shop back there.
Oh oh.. never read 'badnewspaper' so no chance to see em on papers and seldom go shopping no way to hear them on air. Thanks for blogging about brownie points would start to collect them and 'redeem' for future use. tQ
me love brownies yum yum xD
i like the morale of the story. ppl worry way too much about useless little details
Focus on the family, have been hearing them on the radio since i was a young kid. Didn't know they had it on the newspaper too. Now i know. :D
Hmmm, brownie points sounds like bribery. I think the concept is kinda like - don't sweat the small stuff. My mother bought a book for me about that last time. Kinda awesome book. You should check it out.
Uncle Shingo can always comes out some great and meaningful posts. :)
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