One of the writers, a psychologist by training, related his experience with a waitress, who seeked his advice on handling a quarrel with her 15-year old daughter.
The little girl wanted to have her legs shaved, but the waitress mum was against it. As a result, they frequently quarreled over this.
The psychologist gave the waitress mum a simple solution "Buy her a shaver". His rationale was simple - there are too bigger things in life that we should be concerned about.
How true. In all aspects of life, we can't always expect to take complete control of everything. By letting the daughter have some "wins", parents earn some goodwill. I call them brownie points, and they serve as a bargaining chip to facilitate them to influence a bigger decision of their child's future.
Do you want to influence small things like your daughter shaving the legs, or bigger things like ensuring she does not stay overnight at the place of her new boyfriend?
Same goes for work. A boss who wants to have the final say and micromanages everything will only get resentment for his workers. Maybe he should get feedback from the men and let them have it their way sometimes (even if deep down inside, the boss may not agree with the suggestions).
And if you know of someone who look for you time and time again only when they need your help, how will you react when they need your help once again, and this time to borrow a few thousand dollars? Well, I will say "No" without hesitation, I have already helped you way too much.
Start accumulating some brownie points with your loved ones, your friends and your colleagues.
You will never know when they will come in handy.