Friday, October 22

I told you so



I have always been proud to be a forward-looking guy. Close colleagues and friends know me as someone who only cares about the future and not the past.

I can't change the past, but I can mould my future.

I make plenty of mistakes in my life, but I don't sulk or get depressed over them. I live with it, and use it as a guiding principle not to repeat the same mistake ever again.

You won't appreciate what is right until you got it wrong.

And in line with this value, there are some words/phrases that I refrain from using (unless I am joking). And one of such phrases is "I told you so", or any variants of this phrase.

In fact if you use this phrase on me, I might just slap you silly (doesn't apply for Wifey though). =p

You see, I find this phrase very finger pointing. It assigns a blame on the recipient for not listening to his advice. You only make him more miserable than he already is for not listening to you.

Remember, everytime you are tempted to say "I told you so", remember there are also cases of "luckily he never follow what I say" in life.

But I have to admit there are times when I am instinctively tempted to say "I told you so", but somehow the words just don't come out from my mouth. I know it won't make the recipient feel any better, and worse case, it might even ignite a quarrel.

If he remembered that I told him before, then so be it. I do not have to remind him.
If he doesn't, then why bring that up?

So I will instead try to create value, like giving him my opinions on how I think he can go about getting out of the sh*t he is in.

And chances are that after the conversation, he will feel better about himself.

And that makes me feel good.

16 comments:

boh.tak.chek. said...

well-written piece. I tend not to use "i told you so" as it sounds overtly harsh and unsympathetic. Usu i will just exort the poor fellow to be more careful and make wiser decisions next time

Ai Shiang said...

I don't think I've said "I told you so" (aloud) before. "Have you heard me" is my frequent phrase :o). Sometime these words do inflict pain, don't they?

The Envoy said...

Well, hopefully whoever you're talking about gets out of the sh*t he's in.

khengsiong said...

"I told you sold" is looking backward. But I think sometimes we just need to look forward.

Mei Teng said...

Making mistakes is part of growing up in life. Learn the lesson and move one. But having learned from mistakes and repeating them again is not ok.

T(H)(B) said...

I told u so!!!

MKL said...

I don't like "I told you so", too.

Lily Riani said...

am so stress withy my new role but reading your first point "I can't change the past, but I can mould my future" makes senses and calmed me down abit. tx. its something we know but dont practice well enough.

[SK] said...

yeah, this is a very good attitude instead.. the only thing that's worth looking at the past is things you've learnt, and it's always better to shape your future rather than cry over your past.. :)

de.lizzy.cious said...

see, uncle, i told you so.... :p

RicAdeMus said...

I avoid that too, but sometimes it's more difficult than others. I have one sister who never accepts that other people have opinions and suggestions and she can never admit she is wrong. When you discuss something with her and disagree with her, she gets very nasty. SO when sh eis wrong, I get th eurge to tell her, "I told you so." But I don't.

HappySurfer said...

I told you so, Shingo, you're a good man! Wise too. :p

foongpc said...

Yeah, I also don't like to say "I told you so" cos it does not help the person I speak to. Most often than not, the person may be already regretting not following your advice earlier. SO offering a solution or advice on how to overcome the problem is definitely better.

Netster said...

Awesome!

I hate people said that to me... it's mean they are superior and always right :)

Cheers

Twilight said...

You have good character!! i wish to have friends like you. Thumbs Up!

iamthewitch said...

You're right! I also hate it when people tell me "I told you so" that's why I always refrain from saying that unless it's in a joking manner... it really doesn't serve any purpose

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