Wifey is 5 years younger than me.
Many years ago, she went to my ex-company for polytechnic attachment, and ended up getting "attached" (pun intended). Though I have left the company, my legacy as the legendary intern-killer lives on in the company. Hopefully, I have inspired the company to get more female interns, for the sake of the single man who are too caught up at work.
Before we realise it, Wifey and I have been together for 6+ years since we started dating. As I have learnt, there are pros and cons for a man to choose a gal who is 5 years younger than him.
Pros
(1) Savings gap
Since I have worked for 3-5 more years than her, it is natural for me to have much more savings than her. So compared to my peer couples with similar age as me, we have to settle for a cheaper flat. But compared to Wifey's peer couples with similar age as her, she could settle down and buy a flat earlier.
(2)Maturity Level
The typical girl matures earlier than the guy. There were 2 of us who were chasing Wifey at the same time. My love competitor was someone she knew in school, but wasn't as matured in mindset. And I triumphed. Till now, Wifey and I still share alot of common opinions, something I really loved. Also, as I have mentioned in my previous post, if you are a shrew, please get a older man to accept your nonsense.
(3)Aging
Woman age faster than man. So if your man is older, you won't look as old comparitively years down the road. But I believe this is trivial, especially if the gal starts taking care of her skin condition when young. Anti-ageing cream, or even botox (gosh!), anyone?
Cons
(1)Widowing
According to the latest United Nations Longeivity report, the average Singapore citizen dies at an average age of 80. Males are expected to live till average of 78, and woman till age 82. (Yes, the average Singaporean lives longer than Michael Jackson)
Women in Singapore lives an average of 4 years longer than Man.
So if a gal and her hubby are of the same age, it means that she is more likely to live beyond her hubby, and be a widow at the later point of her life. For a man like me who is 5 years older than her, the esimated length of her being a widow is likely to be much longer at about 5 + 4 = 9 years on average. That's really long for my poor Wifey. =(
My Conclusion
To the ladies:
Man are like red wine. They taste better with age. A matured man will give you a wonderful married life. Sure they can't be expected to be as happening as the younger guys, but as you grow older, you will appreciate why experience will beat romantism hands down. And nope, I don't mean those old rich man who are old enough to be your dad.
To the man:
Take care of your spouse's well-being, but pay GREATER attention to your health. For the sake of your loved ones, watch your diet, DON'T BLOODY SMOKE, and go for checkups every 1-2 years, and exercise. If you have time for TV, then you have time for exercise.
Live as long as you can, because you aren't expected to live as long as her.
Be aware of the presence of death, so every minute of your life has more meaning, and you will put better use to it.
17 comments:
my hubby is older than me by just two years..
"As I have learnt, there are pros and cons for a man to choose a gal who is many years older than her."
By the above, you mean...many years older than him?
Correct me if I am wrong but I have heard there's a saying that men are like grapes that need to be trampled upon to get the goodness out of them :)
Cons #1 - If husband and wife are of the same age, it is better to be alone from the age of 82, than to be alone for 10 extra more years (82 - 10 years younger). Should the wife be 10 years younger. Just my opinion.
wenn:
0-2 years seems to be the typical case for age gap.
Mei Teng:
Oops, I have rephrased it. Thanks for pointing that out. What I meant was a guy being 5 years older than the gal.
Haha, first time I have heard of the grapes being trampled on analogy. Gosh, that must hurt!
Ai Shiang:
Get what you mean.
So, you are back! Welcome back!
LOL! "Intern-killer". Great post, Shingo.
Btw, what Mei Teng said about men being grapes can probably be found here.
Shingo, I didn't know that you are an old white man with grey hair :P
Anyhow, I'm currently smitten with a girl (woman) that's 2.5yrs older and I had to convince her that age does't matter to me. Of course to a certain extent. I'd date 5yrs younger and 3yrs older women, that's my policy. But the most important is you have similar interests and views, you can talk a lot, laugh a lot and trust each other and age won't matter, even if it's a bigger difference in years.
Reading MKL's comment brings to mind Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher and they are the sweetest couple despite their age difference.
Yeah, compatibility is key in any relationship, so is understanding and support. Age is only a number..to a certain extent.
ahhh, when i was younger, i had one who was 10 years older, but then i was only 16.
But sometimes having an older partner is kinda good. Cuz some guys my age are still quite immature.
So i guess you must be keeping an eye on your health. (:
MKL:
Oh, the picture was just something I stolen from people's website. I'm a 99 years old Chinese guy living in Singapore, hoping to regain my youth by pretending to be a 30+ years old guy.
I agree with you that similar views helps alot in a relationship, but when it comes to interests, we pursure very different stuffs - she likes to spend money, and I like to make them. =p
Good luck on convincing the girl. I know a guy who dates a girl who is 10 years his senior, but they are getting along very fine.
HappySurfer:
Well said, age is just a number.
Roxy:
I had my first girlfriend only after my university graduation. *blush*
And ya, keeping close tab on health.
Hmmmmm....My brother in law is 5 years younger than my elder sister....which around me..
I don't think they had any problem....As long as they can cope with it...right? :)
Age is not a problem la, it's the chemistry.
I am 7 years older than my cha-bo-lang and we are still deeply in love after all these years :)
Elaine:
Yup, agree with ya. But personally believe that when the man is older, it becomes easier to cope.
Old Beng:
Haha, I can sense how close you and your cha-bo-lang are from the way you write your blog. =p
This entry should have been titled "confessions of a cradle-snatcher".
Anyway for comparison my mother is 1 year older than my father but in terms of emotional maturity she is about 50 years younger.
i like this post of sharing.
numbernine:
Wow, your mum is really emo. And hey, stop calling me a cradle snatcher.
Kikey:
Glad you liked it. ^_^
Physical age means little in some cases. I know a 27 year old who acts like a 8 year old; and a 7 year old who talks like a 12 year old.
The Envoy:
Hello there. ^_^
In behaviour, its true to a sense. When it comes to life expectancy, it normally is different.
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