I was reading about the latest entry by MKL of the same title.
I was going to comment on his site, when I thought, I will probably be writing so much that I might as well start a post on it.
Yes MKL, sue me for copyright infringement. =p
(1) I won't be in love with someone and not tell them
I had my first crush in secondary school and didn't had the guts to tell this female classmate that I had a crush on her. I followed her to the same junior college. After knowing her for 6 years and we graduated from junior college, I still didn't had the guts to ask her out. And there goes my first crush, I kind of wasted 6 years. Thinking back, it was quite obvious, the way I will go out of my way to look for her in school. I was often get teased by my friends, as well as her friends. She probably sensed it, but didn't question my intentions either because
(A) she's shy, or
(B) she doesn't know how to reject me.
Till now, I still don't know which.
And then there was my next crush in university. Being the smart guy that I am academically, I was often flooded by gals asking me for help in schoolwork. But none of them attracted me as much as this quiet girl (I have this something for housewife-material gals). Every Sunday noon, I would write a list of stuffs that I want to talk to her about over the phone. But she will only reply very short answers, like a curt "Yes" or "No". And soon, I will run out of stuffs to talk to her about. it was pretty awkward, holding the phone and there was silence from both sides. So I would wished her happy weekends before I dropped my phone. After we graduated from university, I did confess my feelings (that's the first time in my life), but over email. Emailing my confession make it easier lest I get rejected. As with the law of attraction, my fear of being rejected attracted a reply from her, saying that she knew I was attracted to her all along, but she didn't know how to reject me. Ouch! There goes 4 years.
And so, I learnt that guys should not be wasting time making their intentions known. So when I met Wifey, it took me 3 weeks to ask for her to be my girlfriend. And I held her hand from that day onwards.
(2) I'm more confident about myself and the way I look
I was never that confident of my looks. I was skinny, non-athletic, and probably very nerdy with no striking features (does double eyelid count?). For a while, I felt as if the whole world was getting attached except myself.
As I grew up, I realised that gals in Singapore were actually less superficial about guy's looks than I thought.
Two important things I learnt.
(A) If a girl has a nice personality or looks, it doesn't neccessarily mean she's attached.
(B) If a guy is average (or below average) looking, it doesn't mean he's destined to spend the rest of his life being single.
Having average looks can be out staged by having a magnetic personality. Confidence is key, as it gives the gal some form of security.
Average looking guy with confidence > Great looking guy with no confidence (ie. handsome wimp)
(3) Being romantic goes a long way in the love investment
Having a thick skin helps, because that's how you stand out among your competitors with your bag of self-depreciating tricks.
Heard of the guy who wraps flowers in a black garbage bag because he was too shy to be caught holding flowers to give his girlfriend? Gone case.
There's probably more, but I gotta start working (brought my laptop home to work). So I'll just end here. Drop by MLK's entry to read his perspective of the same topic.