Wednesday, November 11

When life gives you lemons (Part 4)

This will be the last instalment to the "When life give you lemons" series.

Divorce proceedings and child custody proceedings will be starting soon for Lisa's youngest son and the DILFH, but let's put this unhapy incident aside to the more important things.

Lisa's ashes have been placed in an urn, which now resides in a lovely place in Choa Chu Kang. Her tablet is placed in the house of her hubby.

Every end signifies a new beginning.

For those who believe in reincarnation, Lisa may be waiting her turn as I'm writing here. But we all know that she have done so much good in life with her own children and friends, that she will be granted a happier beginning.

For Lisa's relatives who have finished the grieving, their immediate concern is Lisa's husband, who is in his early 80s, and still physically healthy. Since Lisa was hospitalised, he had cried on a few occasions, but has been largely calm. Though it might be possible that he has already accepted the inevitably of Lisa's death, but no one is taking it for granted. After all, Lisa has been his companion for the past 50+ years, and now she's gone. Now he sleeps alone in his own bed.

There were alot of discussions among Lisa's children, who felt they need to spend even more time now with their dad so that he won't be too lonely, and not sink into depression. Among the discussions were the possibility of getting one of Lisa's grownup grandchildren to stay with him, and also having biweekly gatherings at his house.

The power of death is in life itself.

Lisa's death has brought everyone closer. One of her kid who has "servered his ties" with them for more than 5 years, for not helping him with his gambling debts in the past, has silently rejoined them and are on talking terms again.

Relatives who meet once or twice a year in Chinese New Year and weddings, are now planning for frequent meetups with Lisa's hubby to keep him company. Lisa's siblings are more united than before.

And Lisa, wherever she is, will be delighted to know this.

And lastly, I should give special mention to this mother and son pair, who appears out of nowhere in HDB funerals of people they do not know. They came with no other motives than to sit silently at one corner of the wake to help the grieving family fold joss paper for free for hours daily. Granted that families usually give them an ang pao (red packet) at the end of the wake, but it's not a must, and besides, there's no guarantee how much would be in the ang pao. So essentially, they are just trying to possibly earn some additional living through goodwill, with no promised returns.

On one instance, one of Lisa's children gave them $10 for lunch, and this kind-hearted mother and son (both adults), only spent $3 altogether and even bothered to return the remaining $7 to the family. Wow.

Singapore's kiasu (scared to lose) and kiasi (scared to die) mentality can be a little disturbiing sometimes. But it's the presence of this charitable duo that reminds us, that there's kindness around us, as subtle as it can be.

And Lisa's death, definitely remind us of how precious, and yet fragile, that life is.

Take good care of yourself, and your loved ones. Don't start giving them the attention, only after they are gone.

Have a good day ahead, and thank you for reading.


Ai Shiang said...

Marvelous series of story. Thanks for writing all these.

We talked about living in Singapore again in future, but did bring up the issues of kiasu and kiasi mentality. I don't know if I would adapt again to these situations.

MKL said...

I agree with Ai Shang on this one :)

HappySurfer said...

Nothing is more true than the cliche that nothing stays the same forever and death certainly changes (one's) life.

We normally associate death with being a bad thing but in the case of a couple, the one who dies before the other is in a better state, I feel. The one left behind is still faced with life's struggles. The paradox of life..

wenn said... our love and appreciation while the person is still alive..

Roxy. said...

Yes, sometimes a death of a relative can bring one's family closer but sometimes it can also distance a family too. It all depends on the circumstances.

This mother and son are truly admirable to be doing something for someone they do not know and do it with a sincere heart. I hope its not for the good deeds or karma that they hope to earn.

numbernine said...

Say you ever heard of this rock group Led Zeppelin? They had this song called the "Lemon Song". The lyrics are "you can squeeze my lemon til the juice runs down my leg". Just thought I'd let you know.

Plankton McPlank said...

When we think of life as a journey and death as the great denominator of it, we measure the worth of life through the things we do.

I guess Lisa did have a fulfilled life after all, seeing how her son did appreciate her, albeit silently.

Aha, I am able to tell with my impressive observation skills that you've got a new template!

Shingo T said...

Ai Shiang & MKL:
If you can't beat them, join them. Being kiasu and kiasi has its advantages. For one, it makes you tough and not rest on the laurels. Haha.

It's sad to go early, and even more sad being the last to go. That's why the Man above never gave any of us immortality.

Totally agreed. Have you (and me) remembered to show our love to the special people around us today?

I get what you mean. True charity works come from the heart, and should be without any hidden personal agenda. And that is why I can't do charity, I'm always doing stuffs for my own good.

Bro, you never fail to make me chuckle with your "one of a kind" jokes.

Haha, you know it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know something has changed.
On a side note, hope your O levels went well.

foongpc said...

Love this finale! But I still want to know what's next. I mean the DILFH and the divorce story!

Btw, death is part of life and we should not be too upset over how things are. Instead, just look at the bigger picture and go with the flow. I believe everything happens for a reason and when it's all over, we will know the true picture that things must happen for all events are related.

Shingo T said...

I like your approach on death. There's a time to grief, and a time to move on with the lessons learned.

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