Wednesday, September 16

How to make peace in marriage.

Alot of people have been asking whether I'm that peace-loving and nice when I am away from work.

The truth is Wifey and I have our fair share of disagreements, like most couples. Even though we are quick to defend our self-interest, we resolve issues very amicably in every occassion.

Every obstacle is actually a building block that makes the marriage foundation stronger.

Having conflicts is good ONLY IF it gets solved the RIGHT way. And it makes you better at handling future conflicts.

In worst case, learn to sleep and forget the next day.

Everytime you are pissed off about the other half before going to sleep, recall one thing wonderful about the person when you wake up.

And that's easy when it comes to me - I have alot of wonderful memories of my Wifey being really nice. In fact, it makes me feel guilty about losing my temper sometimes. =(

Sleeping over problems doesn't mean we avoid problems by sleeping over it. It's just that problems get resolved easier when both parties think with a clear head. It's also not about you getting the solution you want, but for both parties to agree on a compromised and sustainable solution, so that the same problem will not come back to haunt you.

Every problem needs a proper closure.

Learn to stop talking when you are pissed. Chances are that whatever comes out from your mouth may only make it worse. Don't win a war of words, and end up losing the bond.

About the Author: Shingo T does not make his Wifey kneel on durians for 3 hours whenever he's angry. 3 hours is too long and inhumane.

14 comments:

kenwooi said...

if both can discuss about it and give in to each other.. that will be great! =)

kenwooi.com

HappySurfer said...

Great lessons here, Shingo T.

Phew! That confession in blue print.. haha...

♥ PrInCeSs ♥ said...

Ya .. normally i will just shut up and go to sleep ... woke up the next day .... the issue seems to be smaller!
haha

Old Beng said...

Does your wife read your blog?

~dolly~ said...

In fact, it makes me feel guilty about losing my temper sometimes~~
hehehe.. i love to make my bf feels that way too.. =.=
not in purpose la.. but like treat him extra good when he losing his temper.. then next time he would learn to control himself already..
WAKAKAKAKA~~

smart move huh...
then whatever i dislike, i will only tell him later..

MKL said...

This is really a simple and good advice. I like how nicely you put your thoughts, I agree with on all the points you make. I'm someone who needs to cool off, too.

SJ said...

useful info.. thanks! =)

wenn said...

tolerate..is what i usually do..

Shingo T said...

kenwooi:
That's the ideal outcome. But being humans, sometimes giving in has its complications.

HappySurfer:
What confession?
*act blur*

Princess:
Exactly! You already know understand even without reading what I wrote.

Old Beng:
Oh, Wifey reads my blog. I like to believe she's my #1 fan. Haha.

dolly:
Haha, that's right. There's a time and place for everything.

MKL:
We all need to cool down sometimes, be it at love or work. As a rule of thumb, if unsure, don't speak.

SJ:
Glad you liked it.

wenn:
Tolerate doesn't always work, long-term wise. You risk becoming a volcano, and one day, you might just lose it big time. Try to seek closure, not avoidance. My 2 cents.

Jerine said...

I don't know why I can keep my cool whenever I'm angry at other people, but when it comes to him I just snap off. And I have to go on and on until he snaps too. And then we'll be having world war.

Shingo T said...

Jerine:
It happens to many of us, you aren't alone in this.
That's what happens when we start getting too comfortable with each other. We start to take the other person for granted.
The day you start to lose him, then you will start wondering why you used to flare up at him. Same goes for him.
Do we have to lose someone before we can appreciate his/her value?

Wenny said...

Hi Shingo T, nice piece. That's how Ray and me normally solve our issues. No point arguing at the heat of the moment, no one's listening anyway.

The Hungry Bitch said...

Ok noted. Will shut up when I am angry.

Shingo T said...

Wenny:
Agree with ya totally! ^_^

HB:
Haha, let me know if this works for ya better.

Facebook "Like" Button