Thursday, March 18

Sometimes you gotta give

Have you read of couples who divorce or start straying after 20 years of marriage? It's actually quite rampant. Just because you are happy now doesn't mean you will live happily ever after.

Getting attached is the easy part. Maintaining a relationship is definitely harder as we start having higher (and sometimes unrealistic) expectations of each other.

But fret not, marriage is no graveyard. A good marriage can be very rewarding and fulfilling, you just gotta do it right. ^_^

I read the story of this guy who was married for many years. He was also an avid golfer, and spent many hours every week on his golf. His wife however, was not into golf, and will stay at home over the weekends with the kids.

Many years later, the kids grew up and moved away to start their own family. And the wife now had too much time at hand and nothing to do. The guy could have continued his golfing, but he gave it up so that those hours can be channeled into going for walks with his wife. How sweet! ^_^

He loved golf, but he loved his wife more.

Every couple should spend quality time together, while having a little “me” time to find back themselves. But when a partner in a relationship spend too much time pursuing his/her individual hobbies, or spending too much hours working, the couple can start drifting apart. And this could be dangerous, as the married couple start living their own separate lives even when staying together. The spouse should never become a stranger sleeping on the same bed as you.

A buddy of mine was very into dragonboating and phototaking, hobbies which his girlfriend did not engage in. The events took up a huge part of his weekends, and though his girlfriend “didn’t mind”, I thought it was a little self-centered. Good thing they are now married, and planning to move together. Hopefully he will find more time to spend with her. After all, some girls are like plants. They need to be showered with love and be reminded that they are in our priority queue.

The point of this post? Sometimes in life, we got to sacrifice something in order to gain something that matters much more. And years down the road, you will realise that it's all worth it.

Know what or who REALLY matters in your life, and NEVER lose that focus.

23 comments:

wenn said...

very wise. guess i hardly spend time with my husband. mostly i will be with the children.

Keats The Sunshine Girl said...

Having your own 'time out' is fine but togetherness helps to bind and seal a relationship for both to understand each other.

Lily Riani said...

i always feel that in a relationship... you need something in common, but NOT everything.... that will be your "time out" or "me time"

Ceecile ~Priscilla Clara~ ^^ said...

Very good point! Well said! ^^ It's true that if we spend more time with ourself, the relationship could be torn apart.. But, if we want to make some small sacrifices, it's all bearable and we can make it through the odds! ^^

MKL said...

Bro, what did you do? This post sounds like you have to redeem yourself in front of your wife :P Kidding. You're very right, couldn't agree more with you. As always brilliantly written.

Erny said...

"some girls are like plants. They need to be showered with love and be reminded that they are in our priority queue."
I'm so going to shoot at my bf with this phrase. Very Very true.
He thinks that being in a r'ship means, everything is stable, and there is no need to shower anymore additional love, or to change his single life habit.
And I thought I was too demanding and not understanding. Now, I guess NOT!

werwer said...

well said!!

*claps*

Mei Teng said...

"A good marriage is exponentially more rewarding and fulfilling compared to being a single..".

Sorry, I have to agree on this line of thought. Not necessarily so. Some married people don't find it rewarding and fulfilling in a marriage relationship. It really depends on the situation. Marriage in itself cannot bring fulfillment.

Anonymous said...

Good fill someone in on and this mail helped me alot in my college assignement. Thanks you for your information.

Wenny Yap said...

Thumbs up! Great post from a wise one. Simply said, "Don't take your loved ones for granted!"

iamthewitch said...

Very well said, and I definitely agree with you. I definitely do not want to be those couples who lose the closeness after years of getting married.

HappySurfer said...

Somehow I was thinking about the (in)famous Sgp director.

Great post!

Shingo T said...

Glad to see you guys liking this post. ^_^

Mei Teng:
You are right, must admit I was writing from a biased point of a pro-marriage guy. Have edited that part out, to be fair to those who chose to be singles.

HappySurfer:
haha, he did come to my mind at some point when I was writing this.

the girl in stiletto said...

that is very sweet indeed. but uncle, i wonder where to find these sweet men. =S i cant seem to find one :p

ladyviral said...

The way to have a long lasting marriage... is to learn to love the person like it was the first day ^_^.

Roxy. said...

Yes, it's very true. Setting the priorities right is a very crucial. But yet at times, i see marriage no longer as sacred as the old times. A divorce statement is easily gotten. Even before one is to marry, sometimes a pre nuptial agreement is signed. I looked at all this, and i sometimes do wondered is it what i am getting.

Bananazą“• said...

Sacrifice, tolerance and communication play and important part. tQ

ChinkyGirLMeL said...

"some girls are like plants. They need to be showered with love and be reminded that they are in our priority queue." - Very well said! I love this line. The thought of marriage scares me, it seems that there are a lot of marriages that end in divorce and heart aches. The first story about the golfer reminds me a bit of my relationship with my boyfriend. Tennis has become his life. I do hope one day the first story will also be our story. =)

boh.tak.chek. said...

It's too easy to fall in love. It takes tremendous effort to STAY in love. Relationships involves work , work and more work !

http://boh-tak-chek.blogspot.com/2010/03/check-your-motivation.html

mrdes said...

Agreed, agreed...Nice post:) I believe and try to apply what you say to other areas in my life too...there are price to pay and sacrifice to make for everything in one's life, never take them for granted...

T (H) (B) said...

Most of the time ppl lose focus. Overtime, married couples sleep on seperate beds.... :(

Anonymous said...

Sorry for my bad english. Thank you so much for your good post. Your post helped me in my college assignment, If you can provide me more details please email me.

Anonymous said...

http://scombmreicnj.pbworks.com/adobe-indesign-cs5-me autodesk autocad inventor simulation suite 2011
http://wxoevggkptme.pbworks.com/adobe-dreamweaver-cs5-portable autodesk autocad 2011 service pack
http://senflduyamia.pbworks.com/adobe-creative-suite-5-web-premium adobe dreamweaver cs5 portable
http://mofjdozdpqcq.pbworks.com/adobe-photoshop-lightroom-2-for-mac autodesk revit mep 2011 update
http://vtjrwmndoeee.pbworks.com/autodesk-revit-structure-2011-extensions adobe soundbooth cs5 autotune
http://yiafywoazjvq.pbworks.com/adobe-elearning-suite-cs5 adobe incopy cs4
http://mxuqkrsovkkf.pbworks.com/adobe-incopy-cs4 autodesk maya 2011 requirements
http://scombmreicnj.pbworks.com/acrobat-reader-mac adobe photoshop cs4 extended student edition
http://msgfrqlmiyqx.pbworks.com/adobe-soundbooth-cs4-auto-tune adobe creative suite 4 master collection
http://dtnnuabvduwr.pbworks.com/adobe-indesign-cs5-system-requirements adobe creative suite 4 design premium for macintosh
http://hmqtqzawllfa.pbworks.com/acrobats-of-china-branson acrobat 10
http://vdxtmehxlqnn.pbworks.com/adobe-illustrator-cs4-gratis adobe photoshop lightroom 33
http://ahrdkasaaybp.pbworks.com/autodesk-autocad-map-3d-2011-whats-new adobe flash catalyst cs5
http://brsmadrelola.pbworks.com/adobe-flash-cs4-professional-for-mac-os-x adobe illustrator cs4 gratis
http://hmqtqzawllfa.pbworks.com/adobe-photoshop-cs5-extended-for-mac autodesk autocad 2011 oem
http://senflduyamia.pbworks.com/adobe-realty-kanab-utah adobe creative suite 5 web premium student teacher edition
http://senflduyamia.pbworks.com/adobe-elearning-suite-review adobe incopy cs5 student and teacher edition mac
http://olpfutlejxxr.pbworks.com/autodesk-autocad-civil-3d-2011 adobe photoshop cs4 extended for mac
http://lksdtttcbkgj.pbworks.com/adobe-incopy-cs5-student-and-teacher-edition adobe creative suite 4 master collection for mac os x
http://msgfrqlmiyqx.pbworks.com/adobe-soundbooth-cs5-student-and-teacher-edition adobe premiere pro cs4 system requirements
http://wsjllipafygh.pbworks.com/adobe-photoshop-lightroom-23 acrobat reader gratis
http://lgddctvnmjqp.pbworks.com/adobe-photoshop-cs5-extended-edition adobe air

Facebook "Like" Button