The problem with value adding

Adding to Marshall's theories, value adding by superiors can also pose as an obstacle to process improvements.

This is pretty new to me, since I thought value adding is always a good thing.

Say you are a boss, and your subordinate comes in with a brilliant suggestion. In order to show how "smart" you are (see previous post), you end up saying "This is a good idea, but it could have been better if...."

On one hand, it may sound like the 2 of you have now make a great idea, but what happens is that by adding your 5% input, you have unknowingly weakened his "ownership" of the idea by 50%. When his idea becomes "your" idea, he becomes less enthusiastic to implement it.

And the result becomes less ideal as compared to you just saying "That's a good idea. Please proceed to carry it out."

"But" and "However" are killer words.

Saying "This is a good idea, but it could have been better if...."
is equivalent to saying
"The idea is not good. Let me tell you what you should do instead...."

Sometimes losing a little will make you gain much more.
If only you can learn to talk less and listen more.
And stopped showing how smart you are.

About the Author: Shingo T should stop writing about Marshall's ideas, lest he kenna a copyright lawsuit. So go get your copy now, all you low EQ managers.

Winning does not make you a winner

Marshall Goldsmith is a success coach for leaders around the world, and also the author of the book What Got You Here Won't Get You There.

This is a very good book that list the common “mistakes and misconceptions” that people have about managing people (while keeping yourself popular, and the work culture effective).

In one of his tips, he shared his experience about coaching a group of military officers. To make things interesting, he invited the officer’s wives to the talk, for a purpose that you will know later.

So Marshall asked the men this question.

Suppose you and your wife are going out for dinner. You suggested dining at restaurant X, but she counter-suggested restaurant Y, which is somewhere you do not like. So you communicated your reasons to your wife on why you do not like restaurant Y. However you still ended up giving in to your wife’s request, and both of you ended up dining at restaurant Y.

Well, it turns out that you couldn't be any more correct. The folks at restaurant Y forgot about your booking, the food was slow to deliver, and the food does not taste up to par with your standards - exactly what you have mentioned to your wife earlier that day. So you have 2 options.

Option A - Complain to the waiter, and let your wife know that “See, what did I tell you? Things would have been better if we sticked with restaurant X.”
Option B - Shut up and eat your dinner. Blank out these unpleasant experience and focus on talking about other things.

When asked how many officers actually do Option A, 75% of the personnel raised their hands up. Yes, that's what egoistic people do, proving their points that there were right.

The remaining 25% chose Option B. And that's when you hear alot of disagreements from their wives in attendance, who insisted that their hubby were bluffing, their hubbies were in no way that gentlemen enough.

The thing with many successful and high-ranking people is their eagerness to win. They just had to prove they are right when the situation shows likewise.

And some man will even go out to prove his point, to make them look smater/richer/better as compared to others, even if it’s a claim that is not true.
(I have to admit that I fall under this category sometimes)

To you, you have proven the point that you are right after all.
To them, you going all out to prove that you are right just shows how self-centered and uncompromising you are.

You may have win the fight.
But you have lost the war.

Don’t alienate your other halves/friends/subordinates by showing that you know best.

Because by being arrogant on your point, you just end up making them feel insulted.

Don't let high IQ make you a person with low EQ.

About the Author: Shingo T will like to dedicate today’s article to all the people out there having problems with egoistic people.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons

Wifey and I went for a movie last night.
I like to call that a date, as contrast to the routine work-home work-home life that we usually have. =p



Starring the supposedly irresistable Brad Pitt, and Cate Blanchett, this unusual tale tells of a guy who was born old, and ages backward.

The movie is about 160 minutes long, and justifiably so. How else can you tell the story of a person's lifetime?

The story starts with some side stories that gives a mystical justification about Benjamin's odd "illness". And then talks about his birth, his growth, his explorations, his romance, his outlook on life and death etc...

Brad Pitt puts in a critically acclaimed performance, playing a young "old man", and a old "young man". I shall not dwell too much into the details, but certain funny instances are injected into the show to loosen up this sometimes sombre show.

This is one of the most beautiful love stories I have ever seen, with intricate side stories for the sharp-eyed. In fact, the last 2 nice love stories I watched are "The Notebook" and "Titanic". (OK, I must admit that I watch mostly horor shows with Wifey) There's plenty of crappy lovey dovey movies around, but this sure is worth every dollar I spent.

A curious tale, a great benchmark for future stories to come.

Would you rather age backwards, or age normally?
My wife and I had the same answer.
What about you?

About the Author: Shingo T says that all guys out there should bring their wives and mistresses to watch this show.

Fire Drill

Just for laughs.

---------------

In a large multinational company..............

A fire alarm rang at 4 PM in a large office when almost all employees were in office (approx 5000). As usual the entire office was evacuated
within 3 mins & all employees gathered outside the office in the designated area waiting for further announcement.

The Security Officer in charge made the following announcement: "Dear employees - with sincere regret I have been asked to announce that for
many of you it will be your last evacuation drill. Due to the recession the company is laying off almost 50% of its employees. So when this
announcement finishes, I ask all of you to move back into the building and if your swipe card does not work then it means you have been laid
off in which case you will not be allowed inside and all your belongings will be couriered to you by tomorrow.

The Company has used this innovative approach as we didn't want to fill up the email box with lay-off mails and good bye mails in thousands &
also to avoid any fight inside the office and the consequent security issue for all staff.

Hope you have had a rewarding career with us and all the best ahead.

Please move back in & try your luck.

---------------

About the Author:Shingo T will refuse to get out of the office when he hears fire alarms.

Hamburgers

Can you make better hamburgers than McDonalds?
If no, go to (Ref 1).
If yes, go to (Ref 2).

Ref 1 => That's why they make more money than you.
Ref 2 => Why aren't you making more money than them in this case?

This example is actually slightly modified from an extract in Robert Kiyosaki's Cashflow Quadrant book.

As many of us know, McDonald's burgers are so-so.
It really isn't hard to find places that sell better burgers, or people who make better ones.

According to Ann Sieg, the moral of the story is that how good a product is, is not "all that important".
In a sense that it is often overemphasized at the expense of other more important selling factors.

You can have the best revolutionary unbeatable product the world have ever seen.
But if you suck at your marketing sales (or lack a great marketing team), you will NEVER get close to the kind of BIG money that rival companies (with GREAT marketing) make.

That’s why the best genius can die penniless.
While the Ah Beng on the street can make millions.

Breakout!

How did everyone's Valentine's Day go this year?
For those of you gals who are unattached, my buddy Mr HonestFace is still up for grabs! Oh ok, that was irrelevant to this post.

Wifey did the Valentine's Day preparation this year, which was good news for me since I don't have to do the last minute frantic search for a programme.

So Wifey brought me to the open-air hawker centre (old Satay club?) beside the Esplanade for dinner. Hmm... so the Wifey has finally learnt to thrift? I smelled a rat, because on top of that, she insisted I wore something more formal to go out celebrate.

As expected, the main program was after that. The naughty Wifey brought me to Esplanade after dinner (incidentally Esplanade library was the place I first held her hands). And then she proceed to bring me to the Esplanade concert halls.

And guess what the surprise was?
She bought us tickets for the show BreakOut!


BreakOut! Is a extreme dance comedy put up by some fun-loving Koreans breakdancers. The main actors are dressed in prison attire, and tells the story of prisoners breaking out of prison, and what happens outside the prison walls. Words alone do not do this play justice, you have to watch to really feel it.

The show was full house, you can even see kids and old people coming to watch the performance. Luckily the smart Wifey got the tickets before Chinese New Year – the Wifey always proudly compares how she plans her surprise way in advance. But hey, I don’t see her planning her savings plan so early in advance. =p



Breakdancing.
Hip hop.
Gymnastic.
Slapstick comedy.
And even beatbox!

The beatbox parts were particularly impressive. It’s my first time seeing a live performance, and seeing 2 people producing sound effects with their mouth, fast and furious is THAT DAMN COOL.

And what’s my favourite part?

Pretty Korean ladies in nurse uniform doing breakdance!!
That’s SEXXXYY taken to a whole new level.

LynxAir

The video is self-explanatory.



It doesn't fly from Singapore though. =(

A hit of humility

I am a newspaper addict, everyone close to me knows that.
And Singapore is one of the best places for a newspaper addict to live in, because there are free copies of newspapers, namely Today and MyPaper.

Some of you may have read this particular article written by a Today reader. And I thought I'll steal the story and share here.

------------------
A hit of humility
Thursday • February 12, 2009

by Richard Gomez

LIFE is strange — an unfortunate accident can lead to a memorable experience.

Just before Chinese New Year I was returning home when I was involved in an accident. I was about to enter the CTE from Ang Mo Kio Ave 3 when my car was hit from behind by a pick-up truck. The impact flung my car forward but I managed to pull off into the road shoulder and come to a stop without any further mishap.

I sat in my car for a few seconds, considering my response to the usual tirade one has come to expect in such situations in Singapore, such as: “Why did you stop so suddenly?” or “Why did you reverse?” and then got out of my car.

I felt thoroughly ashamed of myself when the driver approached me and asked if I was hurt. I was dumb-struck when he repeated his question. It dawned on me that he was really concerned about my well-being and was not going to find excuses for his momentary lapse.

I assured him I was not injured. He then volunteered to pay for the damages, stating that he was entirely at fault. He asked me if I minded sending the car to his friend’s workshop. I readily agreed and he then led me to the shop in Sin Ming and gave instructions to his friend to do whatever was necessary and to bill him for it.

He then hauled the contents of my car — golf clubs and cart — into his pick-up and insisted on driving me home.

On the way he disclosed that he was a vegetable delivery man and worked 14 hours a day, seven days a week.

He had occasional days off but worked longer hours during Chinese New Year. I asked him how he could afford to pay for the repairs and he said: “I make mistake I pay, I use bonus to pay.”

I was now close to tears. Here was a person with minimal education and meagre means, demonstrating the highest principles, while around him people with ample means are involved in devious schemes to further enrich themselves.

I made up my mind at that point that it would be criminal on my part to allow him to pay, and told him so. He resisted initially but then gratefully accepted.

Mr Chua is worth his weight in gold to Singapore. He amply demonstrated to me that honour and principle are not necessarily related to education or status. Many of our affluent citizens could take a page out of his book.

Mr Chua made me realise what Oliver Goldsmith had in mind in The Deserted Village when he said:

I'll fares the land, to hastening ills a prey,
Where wealth accumulates, and men decay.
Princes and lords may flourish, or may fade;
A breath can make them, as a breath has made:
But a bold peasantry, their country’s pride,
When once destroy’d, can never be supplied.

It is my fervent hope that we will start appreciating the value of people like Mr Chua to Singapore.

---------------

In the quest for a better life, how many of us still remember to retain our basic humility?

Watch Kenny shave his you-know-where.

Pardon the suggestive title, thought its a good way to get your attention.

I was reading my regular dosage of HB's webpage when I came across a eye-catching little banner at the left side of her blog.

Clicking the link, I realised that my fellow Malaysian, Kenny Sia is doing a raise RM50,000 for the Sarawak Children's Cancer Society.



Singapore have similar annual hair-shaving charity events too for cancer foundations, but done on a larger scale.

While applauding my comrade's effort. it is also disheartening to see that most readers surf blogs with a walk in the park attitude.

So thought I'll do a little publicity for him on Cup of Ice. Since most of my readers are based in Singapore, and the S$1 to RM2.37 exchange rate makes it favourable for Singaporeans to donate, I'm hoping my insignificant blog can help Kenny in whatever small way to inch towards his goal.

About the Author: Shingo T wants to see Kenny bald.

Chicken and Pig

There was once a little chicken and a little pig, who were bought from a nearby farm and reared in the backyard of a poor family.

Being the only 2 animals in the enclosed backyard, they grew up being great companions. It doesn't matter that they look and smell different, or that they have different diets, they had fun talking day and night, and rubbing noses.

No two animals are the same, even if they are close friends.

The chicken was fiercely independent, learning quickly the habits of the human, and mastering the human language. Not that he can speak human language, but he is able to roughly decipher it and translate it to the pig.

The pig on the other hand was active, running and dancing around the yard making cute sounds, mimicking the sounds of the birds (ever hear a pig chirp), or howling like a wolf.

The master of the farm was a man in his 50s. His wife was dead since many years ago, leaving him a girl who bear an uncanny resemblance to the mother.

When the girl was not at school, she will be spending time in the yard like a typical farmer's lass, playing with the 2 animals. Pets, that will be a better term from the gal's perspective.

The chicken and the pig both enjoyed the company of the little girl. But it was slowly apparent that the gal was in love with the pig more than the chicken. Who does not love a dancing pig who can make interesting noises?

The chicken on the other hand was tasked with the important task of laying eggs for the family. Bearing in mind that the family was poor, there were many instances when the father grumbled at the chicken if he failed to lay the desired number of eggs.

Time flies, and it came to a point when the chicken realised how second rated his existence has been as compared to the pig.

Envy turns to jealousy.
And jealousy can make people (and animals) develop dark thoughts.

One day, the chicken overheard the father telling his daughter saying that they were in dire financial crisis, and had to give up one of the animals. In a farm, "giving up" was akin to selling the animal to the slaughter house.

The girl cried, and begged the father not to harm any of her 2 beloved animals. The father sighed and left, after telling the girl that "A man has to do what has to be done, to keep the family alive."

This does not bore well for the hen. His hyperactive piggy pal was way too skinny to be able to be sent to the butchery. It was more likely that he (the chicken) himself was killed for being unproductive in laying eggs.

Moreover, the girl will NEVER EVER let the pig die.

Wild thoughts went past his mind, and he knew "a chicken has to do what has to be done to keep himself alive".

The very same night, after rubbing nose with the pig for goodnight, he devised a plan. A plan to save his life, and at the same time, erase that little jealousy that have accumulated into a volcano of injustice.

The next day, the chicken told his pal, "Hey Pig, heard from our mistress that you have gone incredibly skinny, and no longer as huggable as before."

Being ignorantly happy (and naive), the pig was encouraged to eat more and run around less. "That's how you gain weight, my skinny snouty friend."

The ever-trusting pig heeded his pal's advice, eating whatever food that was delivered to him (he used to eat 1/2 a bowl), and slept after eating.

Soon, the pig was a full-fledged PIG, eat and sleep, fat and lazy, and obviously no longer cute.

It doesn't take long for the father to decide on his pick for the slaughterhouse, as his daughter spend more time with her human friends, and less time in the farm.

The butcher came to the farm, together with some helpers. They approached the pig, and extended their evil grasp towards him. The pig struggled and ask his chicken friend for help, only to be met with a nonchalant stare from his chicken friend.

The chicken has won the battle.
But he has also lost a friend.

No longer does he have someone to chat with.
No longer does he have someone to rub noses with.
Except for the chicken reflection that he sees in the bowl of water.
That once was the makan bowl of the pig.

Girl on Bus

Never underestimate the power of the Internet.
Barack Obama crushed McCain with this simple tool, making use of Facebooks, mailing lists and stuffs.

And what else can you get with the Internet?
The girl of your dreams!

In the spirit of the upcoming Valentine's Day, allow me to share this site call GirlOnBus.Com.

It was started by a local (Singaporean) guy who saw a gal on the bus, and is smitten enough to start a website with a portrait of her, to see if anyone can pass him her contacts.



A lovelorn Romeo or a privacy intruder?
You decide.

But either way, you have to agree this guy has the balls the size of a coconut to start this site.

This reminds me the story of my male friend, who took the initiative to talk to a stranger (female) on the MRT station, and subsequently got attached and married to this same girl.

So to my unattached but very eligible friend, Mr HonestFace, BUCK UP!!!
Please send me your monthly updates.

2 misconceptions about recession

The greatest setback since the Great Depression, thats what some economist said. Worse than the Asian Financial Crisis in 1997. Unless you are ignorantly lost in Lalaland, there is no way you can turn a deaf ear to these news.

Today, I shall share 2 of the most common misconceptions about recession, based on my readings and interactions with fellow friends, colleagues and family.

Misconception #1 - All is lost
In many people'e eye, recession is about gloom and doom.
It is about people losing jobs, people more likely to default on credit card loans and mortgages.

My take is that these common people have got it all wrong.

Recession is about taking stock of your life. It is the taxi ride home after a night of clubbing. A time of peace when you can, and you should stop what you are doing, and review your actions over the past few years of good life.

The amount of money spent at high end dining restaurants, was it that worth it?
That car that you purchase, was it really neccessary (especially in countries like Singapore)?

If you had been retrenched, and unable to find a job, do not fret. Because excessive worrying only bring wrinkles, not solutions. Your newfound time can be used to catch up on the family time that you have lost while working long hours in the Rat's Race. Watch your kids grow. Communicate with them and understand them like what a father should do.

Do not worry about things you have no control of, just take action on things within your control.

Every problem creates a great opportunity. Have you considered about being your own boss? Or branching out to work in an area that you have always wanted to do (volunteer work? nursing? teaching?) but never had the chance to do because you have been in the same industry for too long?

Bad times call for creative measures. Live life like you never have, and you will obtain intangible rewards that no one else will get.

Misconception #2 - Save as much as possible
This is every poor man's concept - save when you are running out of cash.

Obviously, one cannot be faulted for thinking this way, because it seems the most managable way to avert a bankruptcy and sleeping on the streets.

What is wrong is the objective - you should not be out to cut cost as much as possible, but to have as much money (and assets) as possible.

A simple mathematical equation looks like this.
Savings = Income - Cost
So to increase savings, you can not just cut cost, but also increase income!

Increasing income is near impossible if you are just relying on one fixed income job. You need to create multiple sources of income. You can do that by taking a supplentary job like teaching tuition, helping out on weekend expo fairs or doing freelance jobs. Or you can utilise your brain by venturing into online sales, doing buying and selling.

As Robert Kiyosaki has always said, you can make more money as long as you use your biggest asset - the brain. Recession is the perfect reason why you should spend less time on TV to make your life better and more stable.

Think about it.

The best time to improve your life is not tomorrow, its today!